Adventures in Babysitting
by Tonyahuqt03
Summary: In my little verse Wash and Zoe have 6yr old triplets. It's the sequel to my New Addition story. Like all parents they need someone to babysit the kiddies so they can do grown up stuff. New chapter Monty gets a shot at watching the kids.
1. Jayne

Jayne and Mal stood on the foredeck of the ship talking. Jayne was actually doing all the talking and Mal was mostly ignoring him. "Come on Mal. Why I gotta stay?"

"Because the last time we dealt with Jax you shot his dog."

"I didn't like the way it was looking at me."

"It was a dog Jayne."

"Still don't see why I have to stay behind."

Mal was tired of arguing with Jayne. "Ain't no use of arguing Jayne. There's no one else to do it. It seems that some of the Shepherd's fuzzy wassys got a sickness and the Doc and his sis are helping out with that. Inara out doing..." Mal paused for a moment. "Doing. Wash and Kaylee have to go to town restock on supplies and parts. And Zoë's with me. So that leaves you." Mal headed down the stairs to the cargo bay. Jayne was on his heels.

"Ok I get why you don't want me to go with you and Zoë seeing how I shot the man's dog. But why I can't I go to town and get supplies and Wash or Kaylee stay behind?  
Mal stopped at the end of the steps and turned around. Jayne bumped into him. "Because…because you can't."

"That ain't a reason Mal."

Wash pulled his shirt over his head. "I don't see why one of us can't stay behind. I don't like the idea of Jayne…"

Zoë cut him off. "Captain wants Jayne to stay behind." Zoë kissed Wash on the cheek. "Hurry up we're on a time table." She climbed up the bunk ladder and left.

"Still don't think it's a good idea." Wash mumbled.

Zoë walked back into the passenger dorms and tired to open on the doors, but it was locked. "Open the door." Zoë heard muffling noises going on behind the door. "On the count of three this door better be open. One." The door quickly opened and a small girl with a head full of red curly hair stood there looking up at Zoë with her big blue eyes. "Why was the door locked?"

The girl just smiled and pointed behind her to the two boys behind her. One of the boys was sitting on the bed with handcuffs on. He had cuffed his right wrist to his left ankle. "We can't get it off." She whimpered.

Zoë just smiled. "How long have you been like this?"

The boy started crying. "Two hours."

Zoë sat on the bed beside the boy and pulled out a small pin from her vest pocket and un-cuffed the boy. He rubbed his aching wrist and ankle.

"Where did you get this?" She said holding up the cuffs. None of the children spoke. "On the count of three, one…"

"Goddaddy's bunk." The other boy shouted.

"Gabe! What about solidarity!" The recently un-cuffed boy said.

"What? She gave the count I had to tell." Gabe replied.

"Momma it was Amina! She dared me to do it."

"Nut-uh Momma. You're such a lying ching-wah tsao duh liou mahng Mally." Amina quickly covered her mouth.

Mally and Gabe started laughing. "You're in trouble. You're in trouble." The boys chanted.

"Shut up! I hate you two!" Amina eyes where watering up.

Wash came into the room. "Hey, hey what's all the crying and yelling about?"

Amina quickly ran and jumped into Wash's arms. "Poppa, the boys are being mean to me." She cried.

"I'm beginning to think that you were right husband." Zoë held up the cuffs in the air. "Your son cuffed himself."

Wash scoffed. "My son?"

"And your daughter has developed a colorful vocabulary."

Wash looked at the girl in his arms. She just looked at him with big puppy dog eyes. Wash got all melty how could he be upset when those big blues just stared at him.

"Zoë maybe I should stay." Wash said as he put down the girl. She smiled and stuck out her tongue at her brothers. "They can be a real handful."

"Where ya'll going?" Mally asked as the placed head on his mother's lap looking up at her. Before Zoë could answer the boy sat back up. "You got a job? Can I go? Where you going? There's gonna be gun play? Jayne and Goddaddy going? Can I go pluh…ease!"

"No." Zoë said.

The boy plopped down back on her lap. "We never get to go."

Zoë smiled and ruffled the boy's hair. "Maybe when you're older."

"Ain't six old enough?"

"No." Zoë said as she got up.

"Poppa will you read to me?" Gabe pulled out a book from the shelf and handed it to Wash.

"That book's stupid." Amina pulled another book down. "This one."

"Actually me and Kaylee have to go to town and get some supplies and parts." Wash said to his clearly disappointed children.

"We need new synchronizers." Amina said. "Can we go?"

"No, you three are still on punishment for the last time we went plantside."

"But, Poppa he was a go-se purple belly he deserved it!" Mally protested. He looked at his parents faces and decided to rephrase his statement. "I mean he was talking bad about the Independents. Momma, he was saying that the Independents where scum and deserved to…I was just defending your honor." Mally whined hoping his mother would forget his swear.

Zoë bent down to face the boy. "Still you should go kicking Feds in the knees. Tends to get them crotchy and in an arresting mood."

"But it still is hilarious." Mal said as he came into the room. "We gotta go. Jax just waved us the rendezvous point."

"Don't encourage them sir." Zoë said.

Mal picked up Mally and Amina in each arm. "But they are so damn cute." He kissed both of them on the cheek and put them down. "Ready?"

"Yes sir." Zoë turned to leave when Gabe cried out.

"Momma!"

"Yes Gabe."

"Snuggles." Gabe extended his arms for Zoë to hug him. She hugged him and they gave each other Eskimo kisses. The other two children followed suit. This was Zoë's favorite part about being a parent the snuggles.

Before she left she turned to Wash. "Make sure before you leave you give Jayne the list."

Jayne sat at the kitchen table sulking like one of the kids. Kaylee was at the stove fixing a snack trying to cheer up Jayne about his duties for the day.

"It's real shiny watching the kids. You can read them stories…" Kaylee thought a moment. "You can tell them stories. Play games. Mally and Gabe love checkers. Amina real good at tall card."

"Well if it's all shiny why don't you stay behind with the rugrats." Jayne said as he reached for Kaylee's snack. She swatted his hand.

"Can't. We gotta get parts for Serenity." Kaylee said with her mouth full.

Jayne rubbed his hand. "Why's Wash got to go with you to get parts?"

"Its his contact Jayne. We're getting a discount with this guy cause he went to flight school with Wash."

Wash entered the kitchen, he pulled a piece of paper from his pocket. "Jayne this is the list."

"Huh?"

Kaylee laughed to herself. "You might want to hold on to that."

Wash handed Jayne the piece of paper. "It's a list of things that you need to know for babysitting."

Jayne looked at the paper he wasn't quite sure how to take it. Did they think that he was so dumb he couldn't watch three little rugrats? Jayne didn't care anyhow he had his plan lain out. He figured he just lock them in their room and throw scraps of food in there once and a while.

"Jayne just make sure you follow the list ok."

"Yeah I got it." Barked Jayne.

"And one more thing Jayne I would like to have my children in the condition I left them. No bullet holes."

"Can't make any promises." Jayne said grinning.

Jayne walked slowing to the children's bedroom. He wander if this was the hell that Shepherd Book talked about. He slowly opened the door. "Yep." He thought to him self, this was hell. Jayne pulled out the list that Wash had given to him.

"What's that Jayne?" Mally asked pointing to the piece of paper Jayne had in his hand.

"Wash gave me a list."

"Can I see it?" Mally asked almost too sweet.

Jayne didn't see a reason why the boy couldn't see the list. Jayne felt a pull at his shirt tail. It was the girl. She looked at him with her big blue eyes. "Gorrmitt Jayne don't get all melty." Jayne thought to him self.

Amina put on her sweet as pie voice, "Uncle Jayne, do want to play tea with me?" She asked smiling.

"Sure small fry." Jayne gave in too quickly. Amina just smiled and lead him over to her tea set.

"You sit here." Amina pointed to a pillow on the floor.

Meanwhile Mally put the list under his mattress and joined his brother on the floor playing dinos.

Jayne tired to get comfortable on the pillow but he couldn't. Amina put a tiara on top of his head and a orange feather boa around his neck.

"You can be Princess Janie." Amina said as she sat down on the other pillow facing Jayne.

"Shouldn't I be prince or king or something? You don't think this is too sissified?"

"Nope." Amina said as she poured the tea into her little tea cups.

The boys just laughed at Jayne, because of the costume Amina gave him. Jayne took off the tiara and boa. "How bout we play something else?" Jayne asked hoping that Amina would change her mind.

"Only if I pick the game and the boys have to play."

"Deal."

The boys stopped laughing and looked at Amina. Jayne noticed the conversation that the children where having. But, the thing was that they weren't saying words. This creped Jayne out.

"How bout hid and seek?" She suggested. Both of the boys nodded their heads in agreement.

Jayne thought hide and seek was a perfect game. "Shiny. I'll count." Jayne closed his eyes and started to count. "One, two, three, four…" He listened until he couldn't hear the children anymore and stopped counting. "Ready or not here I come." He bellowed. Jayne didn't leave the room. He plopped down on the bed. He picked up a book on the floor and started to read it. "Lit..tle Red Riding ho..ood. Little Red Riding Hood." Jayne threw the book across the room. Reading made his head hurt.

Jayne awoke to screaming. His first reaction was to reach for his gun, but he forgot he taken it off. He didn't want a repeat of the last incident when Mally got a hold of Sarah and almost shot his brother. He reached in his boot. He pulled out a rather large knife. He crept out of the children's room heading towards the screaming. Finally, Jayne came to the source of the screaming. It was Amina and she was on the floor of the cargo bay holding her knee. Jayne tucked his knife back in his boot.

"What happened small fry?" Jayne asked the screaming girl. Amina didn't respond she just kept crying. "Gorrmitt stop crying." Jayne picked up Amina and carried her to the infirmary. He placed her on the bed and started looking for some bandages. Amina cried louder.

"Awwe Dr. Simon is going to be mad at you for messing up his doctor room." Mally said as he poked his head in the infirmary.

"Well I ain't scared of him." Jayne threw some more things around trying to find a bandage. "What happen to your sister?"

Mally just shrugged his shoulders. "I dunno." Mally came in further and climbed on the bed next to his sister. He grabbed her hand. This seemed to calm her down a bit, but not enough for Jayne.

"Ha! Found it." Jayne pulled out some gauze. "Ok." Jayne looked confused. He wiped some for the blood from Amina's knee with his shirt. Then he started to wrap her knee.

"Ain't you supposed to put something on it first? Doctor Simon always puts something on it first. And I don't think your suppose to use that. Doctor Simon doesn't use that."

"Well I ain't Doctor Simon!" Jayne barked at Mally. Jayne continued to wrap Amina's knee.

"Better?" Jayne asked.

Amina was still crying. "I can't move my knee."

"I think you used too much." Mally said.

Jayne had wrapped Amina's whole leg in gauze. "Come on small fry stop crying."

"You gotta sing the boo boo song." Mally said as he hopped down from the bed.

"The what song?"

"Momma always sings the boo boo song."  
"Your Momma sings." Jayne laughed at the idea of Zoë singing. "Well how does it go."

Mally shrugged his shoulders, "I dunno. But you have to sing something."

Jayne started singing the only song he knew, "Jayne! The man they call Jayne. He robbed from the rich and gave to the poor. Stood up to the man and gave him what for! Our love for him now is ain't hard to explain. The hero of Canton the man Jaynnneee." Jayne stopped singing a bit and looked at Amina. Her crying had slowed down a bit to heavy breathing. "Better small fry?"

Amina nodded her head. "Good."

The shuttle deployment alarms went off. Kaylee had installed them when Mally and Gabe wanted to fly. "Lao tyen yeh ai ji gaowan what now?" Jayne looked around the infirmary, he noticed that one was missing. "Where's your brother?" He asked Mally.

Mally shrugged his shoulders, "I dunno."

Jayne grabbed Amina and tucked her under his armed and took Mally with the other hand and headed for shuttle one.

Jayne found Gabe at the controls trying to launch the shuttle. "What in the gorram hell do you think your playing at?" Jayne put down Amina and grabbed Gabe and lifted him up. "Do you want your Momma to put a bullet in me?" Jayne yelled.

Gabe started crying.

"Don't yell at my brother you big man ape." Mally yelled and kicked Jayne in the knee and ran off.

"Yeah ya big, Ching-wah tsao duh liou mahng." Amina kicked Jayne in the other knee with her good leg and wobbled off.

Gabe kicked Jayne in the nether regions and ran off.

Jayne fell to shuttle floor holding on to his nethers. "Grommit, those little gou fang pi!"

Jayne had managed to wrangle the children back into their room. He had all three of them sitting on the bed. Jayne limped back and forth thinking about what to do with them. In a normal situation Jayne would resort to violence, but violence wouldn't work on these kids. After all they were Zoë's children. Jayne was at a lost. "So, what do you think I should do with ya?" He asked pacing. "I think I gonna tell ya Momma about all the things you three did today. How you tired to steal the shuttle. How you three kicked me in places I don't take a like'n to be kicked. How bout that? That's a fun game. Let's tell Zoë." Jayne had a huge grin on his face. He was beginning to like this whole babysitting thing.

"If you tell, then we're gonna tell that it was you that taught us naughty words. And it was you who taught us how to use Sarah. And that you made Gabe and Amina cry." Mally said as he folded his arms.

"Damn." Jayne thought. These brats where smarter than he thought.

"How bout a game? Who ever looses get told on?" Gabe suggested.

Jayne figured that since he was older that he was smarter and he could win. "What game?"

Gabe had a grin on his face. He looked at his brother and sister. They were having a conversation without words. This gave Jayne the willies. "The Lanzhou Job game."

"How do you play?"

Jayne woke up to the rest of the crew staring down at him laughing. He tired to move but his hands where tied behind his back. He tired to talk but his mouth was gag. Zoë removed the gag from his mouth.

"Lanzhou Job?" She untied him from the stair railings. "Did you even look at the list?"

Jayne was working out, lifting some weights to work out some tension. He didn't stop when he heard the Zoë, Wash, and the children come up.

"Jayne, the children have something to say?" Wash pushed them forward to Jayne. "Don't you?"

In a small voice together they said. "Sorry Uncle Jayne."

"Sorry for what." Zoë persisted.

"Sorry for tying you up, for kicking you, for drawing mustaches and eye glasses on your naked girl pictures, for taking the bullets out one of your clips and putting pieces of crayons and loading Sarah to see if she would shot crayons…which she don't, sorry for calling you names, sorry for umm…sorry for everything." Mally said in one big breathe.

"We made you a card." Amina handed Jayne a handmade card that read, "Sorry Uncle Jayne. We love you. Love Mally, Gabe, Amina." They had even drawn pictures of themselves and their Uncle Jayne.

Jayne was getting that melty feeling all over again. Despite his best efforts he couldn't stay mad at them, especially when they went through all the trouble and made him a card.

Translations: Don't quote me on this, but I guess it's as close as its going to get

ching-wah tsao duh liou mahng frog-humped hoodlum

go-se piece of sht

Lao tyen yeh ai ji gaowan Jesus loving chicken balls

gou fang pi dog farts


	2. River

River

River was excited that Zoë and Wash had trusted her enough to babysit the triplets. This was the first time that anyone in the crew had trusted to do anything besides being the resident crazy person. Finally River's greatest wish to be treated like a regular teenage girl was coming true, she got to babysit. River knew that the real reason why Zoë and Wash had asked her was because they where desperate and there was no one else.

River opened the door to the triplet's room. It looked like something had exploded in the room. Somehow the boys had taken both mattresses off the bunk beds and put them on the floor. Mally was doing a swan dive off the top bunk and landed on his brother. Amina was jumping up and down on her bed while painting a picture on the wall.

River backed up a bit. A thousand and one things ran through her head as she watched the children in their mayhem.

"_Chaos. Total chaos. 206 bones in the body. 618 bones can break. 1000 places to fall to your death on Serenity. 4 in the room. 1758 things that can get lounged in the throat, causing choking. 300 in the room. 8456 sharp objects on Serenity. Hundreds in the room. 500 poisons on Serenity…3 in the room. Sarah, Phoebe, Rita, Chloe, Debra, and Vera. Jayne had 25 guns and Mally loved them all. Engine parts thrown about, engine breaking, Serenity crashing into a moon, Gabe's favorite place. Covered in paint and sticky…Amina. Tied to a railing gagged and bond. Tarred and feathered. Lanzhou Job. Hide and seek_…."

River quickly turned around to run, but she bumped into Zoë. "River here's a list…"

River snatched the list from Zoë's hand and tore it up throwing the pieces in the air.

"River?" Zoë looked at her funny.

"Babysitting is problematic." River quickly ran away from Zoë.

As River was fleeing she ran into Simon. "Mei Mei what's wrong?" Simon said trying to soothe her.

Frantically River replied, "Crying…blood…rope…bones…things coming back…"

Simon concerned looked into River's eyes. "What are you talking about Mei Mei?"

River gave Simon her your-a-boob look, "Babysitting."

Simon laughed. "Are you worried about watching the triplets?" Simon put his arm around his sister. "Remember how much fun we use to have when I would watch you when Mother and Father had dinner parties?"

A smile crept across River's face. "We played games."

"And we told stories…that's when we found the hodgeberry bushes at the Cambersons'  
estate and we ate them until we got sick."

"Mother got mad because we got our pajamas dirty." River smile faded away from her face. "I'm afraid."

"Of what?"

"Breaking them."

Simon laughed again. "The Triple Threat?" Simon started to lead River back to the kids' room. "I doubt if there is anything in the verse that will break those kids.." Simon thought for a moment. "Mally's had what 2 fractured bones…"

"Three. Simple fracture of the 5th Distal Phalanx bone, compound fracture of the humerus, and **hairline fracture** of the tibula."

Simon just looked her. "And if they do break, I can fix them."

"Like you fixed me."

"Yes, mei mei." Simon kissed River on the forehead. "Like I fixed you." From what Simon could tell River was getting better. She was more stable than she was when they first got to Serenity. Simon was able to get more intel on what they did to River's brain at the Academy. She was getting better. She was becoming the sister that Simon remembered.

River looked at Simon. He was getting all sentimental again. Then, River remembered why she loved being around the triplets so much. They saw her. The real her. Simon only saw the broken sister. Jayne saw her as a crazy moon brain. Shepherd saw her as a mystery. Kaylee saw her as friend, but she was still weary of her. Wash saw her as amusement especially when she outsmarted Jayne. Zoë and Mal saw her as a reminder of Serenity Valley. But the triplets simply saw her as their Aunt.

Amina came running up to them. She was covered in paint. River thought that she looked like a little Picasso painting. Her eyes where big and sad. "River you don't want to watch us? Is it because we're fengkuang xiao hou zi dao xiaozi guaishou?"

"Amina language." Simon corrected.

"What?" She replied almost too innocent. "That's what Jayne called us."

River bent down so she could look at the girl eye to eye. River started to say something but nothing would come out. She just hugged Amina while picking her up off the ground.

"River you're squishing me." Amina giggled.

Gabe came running up to River. "Hey can you read this to us." He handed her his favorite book of fairytales. "Momma don't read it right. She forgets the voices." He whispered.

They joined everyone else in the kids' room. Wash and Zoë where trying to clean up the disaster which was their children's room. River sat on Amina's bed with Gabe's book. Both took their spot beside her. Wash and Zoë both looked up from the mess. "River, honey you ok?" Zoë asked a bit confused.

River smiled at Zoë. "I have a job to do." River opened the book up. "Once upon a time in a land far away…" River noticed that Wash and Zoë where both still standing there watching her. Not so much because this was the most sane they had seen her, but because all three of there children where quiet. Not just quiet but sitting still quiet, hanging on River's every word.

Mal popped his head in the room. "Zoë, Wash we got a job to do." Mal noticed the complete silence. "Quiet before the storm." He mused to himself. "Come on people."

Wash and Zoë turned to leave, but Wash halted. "Don't need the list." River said before he could speak.

Wash just looked at her with his mouth open for a bit. Then he smiled. "Shiny." He turned to join Zoë.

"Wash, Zoë!" River called out. Both of them returned to the room. "I'm getting paid right?"

"Yeah of course." Zoë said as she left.

"Where paying her?" River could hear Wash say as they left.

River continued to read. "There was a princess…"

"Was her name Amina?"

"No that's a stupid name…" Mally said.

"You're stupid, stupid…" Amina stuck out her tongue.

"Anjing." River commanded.

Amina and Mally snapped to attention. River put the book down. "How about I tell you another story about a princess and two evil men with hands of blue?"

They all nodded their head. "Once there was a princess named Jordan and she lived in a magical castle with her brother Sam. They lived there with their evil parents. One day Jordan and Sam's parents sent her away to a far off land…"

Wash and Zoë checked on the children before they went to bed. Wash tucked in Amina. "So did you have fun with River today?"

"Yeah, she told us stories…we made a cake…and she taught us how to dance." Amina rubbed her eyes.

"Well it seems you guys had a lot of fun. Do you want River to babysit for you guys again?" Zoë asked her boys.

"No, not really." Mally said.

"Why?"

"Cause we can't get away with anything…it's like she reading our minds." Mally said.

"She's like a walking list, Momma." Gabe added.

Chinese translations

fengkuang xiao hou zi dao xiaozi guaishou crazy little monkey humping bratty monsters

Anjing quiet


	3. Mal

All of a sudden Mal couldn't breathe through his nose. He felt two very small, sticky fingers pinching his nose. He opened one eye slowly and saw three sets of eyes looking down on him. Mal closed his eye hoping that this was a horrible dream and when he awoke they would be gone. But, he knew it wasn't a dream because he still couldn't breathe through his nose and there was now jumping on his bed. Still with his eyes and nose closed. "Malcolm is there a reason why you are holding my nose captive?"

"Are you up Goddaddy?"

"If I was asleep would I be talking to you?"

"Maybe…if you sleep talk. Poppa sleep talks sometimes." Mally said finally letting go of Mal's noise.

Mal quickly got up and grabbed the jumping culprit and held her down. "What did I tell you about jumping on beds on my boat?"

"That it was fun and exciting." Giggling Amina said.

"My exact words where don't, cause if you fall and break your neck…"

"You ain't cleaning it up. I know Goddaddy. But it's still fun." Amina jumped down to the floor.

Mal looked at his three God children. There hasn't been a dull moment on Serenity since these critters where born. At first he wasn't to keen on the idea of having babes aboard Serenity, but now he can't imagine life with out them. Not that he would admit that to anyone, but they where the light of his life.

Mal noticed that Gabe's nose was running he fumbled threw some of his stuff and found a hanky. He put it up to the boy's nose. "Blow." Mal felt the force of the liquid on his hand. Yep, never a dull moment, he thought. He threw the hanky in the pile of clothes on the floor.

He grabbed Gabe up and climbed up the ladder. Amina and Mally followed close behind him like little ducks.

Mal headed for the bridge he had some words for his first mate and pilot about letting their children wake him up from his much deserved sleep. When he got there he saw something that he didn't want to ever see (again at least) Zoë and Wash making out. Mal covered Gabe's eyes while closing his. Amina and Mally just giggled.

"Ahem…" They didn't stop kissing. "Ahem." Mal said louder. "Do you two want to unattached your selves and tell me why I had a 3 alarm wake up call today? On my god given day of rest?"

Zoë finally looked up from Wash. "Sorry sir." Zoë straighten herself up. "You can open your eyes now."

Mal slowly opened his eyes. He had caught Zoë and Wash having one of their "moments" before; he didn't sleep for two days. "What did I say about you two doing…" Mal looked at Gabe. He was smiling. Then he looked down and the other two. "Doing…" Mal felt hot all of a sudden.

"Having sex, Goddaddy. They were having sex." Mally said matter of factly.

Wash, Zoë and Mal all looked at Mally as if he had been in the act him self.

"Son…what is um, what do you think sex is?" Wash asked really not wanting to know the answer.

"You know what sex is Poppa its when a guy and a girl…" Mally made a thrusting movement.

Choking up Wash tired to get out, "Who told you that?"

Before Mally could answer Zoë got up. "Jayne! What in the gorram hell are you teaching my boy." Zoë yelled as left the bridge.

"Well that was disturbing." Mal went over and sat in the co pilot's chair with Gabe still in his arms. "Back to my original point, my 3 alarm wake up call."

Wash looked at Mal grinning. "You don't remember…Mally closed the locker door." Wash ordered. Mally quickly shut the door close. "Here, you two sit." Wash pointed down at the floor. Sulking they both sat down on the floor. "Mal you said that you would watch the kids for us today."

"I did?"

"Yeah, at dinner last night. You said you would watch the kids cause you forgot Zoë's birthday…and you said we could have the day off to do…" Wash looked down at his son, who was looking almost too intently at him. "Why don't you kids go bother Simon?"

They all quickly ran out the bridge to find Simon.

"You're a bad man." Mal said laughing at the thought of the kids messing with Simon. "How long do you and Zoë plan on staying planetside? We got that job on Eros in a couple of days."

"It's all worked out Captain. Bender won't have the goods ready for pick up for a couple of days. And where 3 days ahead of schedule, and it takes only 18 hours to get from Helix to Eros."

"Ok, but that still doesn't answer my question. How long you planning to stay planetside." Mal made sure to stress the long part.

"The whole day…and maybe the next afternoon." Wash said hoping that Mal would agree.

Mal leaned back in his chair. He had never watched the kids for a whole day before, but he felt comfortable, because he knew that Kaylee the rest of the crew would be there to bail him out.

"What do you mean your not staying on the ship?" Mal following Kaylee out the engine room like a lost puppy.

"I ain't never been to Eros. They got a multi plex." Kaylee headed towards the cargo bay.

Mal let out a small whimper. "Well how long you planning to stay?"

"I don't know…depends."

"Depends on what?"

Kaylee smiled. "The kinda sales they got. You'll be fine." Kaylee kissed Mal on the cheek. "Come on you guys." Kaylee barked out.

Simon, River and Book all came down the stairs. "And where are ya'll going?" Mal asked.

"Shepherd Book got us tickets to a real play." Kaylee exclaimed.

"It's just a bunch of the brethren putting on a show. Nothing too extravagant, Kaylee."

"I know, but I ain't never seen a real play before. We're going to make a day of it. The multi plex, dinner and a show." Kaylee was bouncing on her toes.

Mal was getting desperate he didn't want to baby-sit alone. "Well why don't ya'll take the kids along…"

"I don't think that's a good idea Captain." Simon interjected. "Gabriel's sick. He has a slight cold. He shouldn't leave the ship."

"Well why don't you just take Mally and Amina. I'll watch Gabe." Mal hoped he didn't want to sound like he was dumping his god children on them, but they could be a real handful.

Simon felt almost bad. "Another reason why I'm going…we're out of inoculations so I don't want to risk the other kids getting sick."

By now Kaylee was dragging everyone out of the ship. "I have some medicine that you should give Gabriel every 4 hours. It should be easy to give to him just put it on his tongue and it will dissolve itself." Simon said as Kaylee dragged him out.

"Bye Captain!" She yelled out.

River stood by Mal for a moment. Mal thought that see was going to stay behind. She gave him the funniest look. "Not going to happen. Hao yun." River skipped out of the ship.

Mal looked up and noticed that Inara's shuttle was still docked. If he asked politely maybe she would help him baby-sit. He straighten his clothes, making sure he looked presentable. He would use his manly whiles on her. Seduce her into helping him. Mal headed up the stairs, but he was halted by Inara.

"I just wanted to tell you that I've got a client lined up and I won't be back until the morning."

"Man's must got stamina. All day and into the morning…impressive." Mal gave her a smirk.

"You know you catch more flies with honey than vinegar."

"And what do I owe that lovely piece of imaginary?"

"You wanted me to help you watch the children."

Mal tired to look offended. "I was not. The thought never crossed my mind."

"Good bye Mal." Inara headed toward her shuttle.

Mal had one more glimmer of hope, it had come to this. "Jayne."

"Yeah Mal." Jayne came from the kitchen. He was dress in his most fetching clothes.

"Why you got all gussied up for me? You shouldn't have."

"I didn't." Jayne grinned. Mal had seen this before. Jayne was clean, his clothes were pressed, shoes shined, and he had on his most favorite hat.

"I'm gonna find me some trim. Don't wait up."

Mal watched Jayne go. Damn, he was all out of options. He sucked it up. After all he lead hundreds of men in battle once. Surely he could handle 3 six year olds. Then, Mal remembered, he lost the war.

"He's sick Wash. Should we really be leaving him." Zoë said as she tucked Gabe in his bed.

"Zoë I don't want to leave him just as bad as you do, but we also need some husband wife time." Wash pleaded. "He'll be fine."

Mal stood at the doorway listening. He was rooting for Zoë to win this argument.

Simon snuck up on Mal. Whispering in his ear, "What are you doing?"

Mal jumped, "Ahh…" He grabbed his heart. "Doc you shouldn't be sneaking up on folks like that. Liable to get your self shot."

Simon smiled a bit, "I'll remember that." He headed into the room. "You coming or are you planning on standing out there eavesdropping?"

"I was not eavesdropping, I was surveying my surroundings."

"Ah yes, I apologize. Are you coming or are you going to continue your surveying?" Simon asked standing in the doorway.

Mal pushed by him, "Any one tell you that you're an ass." Mal heard giggling. He looked down and there was Amina looking up at him.

"You said ass."

"What did I tell you about eavesdropping?"

"Make sure you don't get caught."

"No."

"Umm that people will say the best stuff when they think your not listening."

"No."

"Umm…that it was funny, cause you can use that information later."

"No."

"I don't know Goddaddy."

"Never eavesdrop on me."

"Cause you're the captain."

Mal picked her up. "Right cause I'm the captain." Amina wrapped her arms around Mal's neck.

"I thought you where going to 'make a day of it'" Mal said in his best attempt to sound like Kaylee.

"I am. I just wanted to check on Gabriel before I left." Simon handed Mal the medicine bottle. "You need to give him one tablet in a couple of hours, then after that every four hours. If his fever spikes up any higher, I have the communicators. Also make sure he doesn't get up and drinks plenty of fluids. Try to keep the other two away from him also. I don't want them getting sick too. Sooo I stocked the infirmary with plenty of antiseptic and bandages if you need them." Simon looked around the room. "Should I write this down for you captain?"

Mal felt a little overwhelmed but he wasn't going to show it. "Nope, I'm fine Doc have fun." Mal smiled as he put down Amina. As she dropped from his arms Mal noticed the bags that where in the corner. "What's with the bags?" His eyebrow arched a little.

Wash picked up the bags. "We'll be back tomorrow morning. Come on honey." Wash quickly fled the room.

Zoë kissed Gabe on the cheek. She whispered in his ear. The boy started laughing. The other two children where at her legs, she bent down and whispered something quiet to them. "Dong ma?" She said as she got up.

"Yes." Mally and Amina said in unison.

"Sir." Zoë held out a piece of paper.

Mal just looked at the paper as he took it. "What's this?"

"It's the list."

"A list of what?" Mal was confused.

"Just a list of things that you need to know when watching the triplets."

"Zoë I'm truly offended you don't trust me with your kids?"

Zoë smiled. "It's not about trust, Sir. It's about protection."

"Still offended here. You don't think I can protect your kids?"

"List not for them, Sir." She looked back at her children who where on the floor fighting over a toy. She gave Mal a pat on the back and left.

Mal looked at the list that Zoë had given him, it was pretty long. He balled it up and tossed it aside. He didn't need no ruttin list to watch his grandchildren.

"Ok how bout we play a game!" Mal tired to sound as excited as possible.

"Let's play Lanzhou Job!" Mally suggested.

"No let's play hide-n-seek." Amina chimed in.

"Can you just read to us." Gabe said between sniffles.

"Maybe later." Mal picked up Mally. "My game is a lot more fun."

Mally eyes got bigger. "What is it?"

"It's called nap time." He lay Mally on his bed.

"That's not a game." Mally said pouting.

"But, it's sooo much fun." Mal tucked Mally into bed. He then put Amina in her bed. "We're all gonna take a nap."

"But we're not sllllleepy." Amina whined.

"Move over." Mal pushed Amina to the side of her bed. He kicked off his boots while shifting, in the very small twin size bed.

"You're swishing me." Amina tired to get Mal off of her, but he was too big.

Mal woke up to sniffles. Gabe was standing beside him watching him sleep.

"Goddaddy…" Gabe whined.

Mal jumped up. He noticed that Amina was no longer beside him and that Mally wasn't in his bed. "Where's your brother and sister."

Gabe just shrugged his shoulders. "I dunno…Goddaddy…"

Mal quickly got up, when his feet hit the ground they landed into a warm, chucky, liquid-solid. He looked down on the floor then at Gabe.

"I…" sniffle. "threw up."

"Fu ai hou qiu." Mal lifted one foot up in disgust. Gabe started crying.

"Stop crying."

"You're mad at me."

"I'm not mad." Mal slipped up a little as he tired to get away from the vomit.

"Yes, you are."

"No, I'm not." He pulled out a towel from their closet and wiped his feet.

"Yeah, you are."

"No, I'm not." Mal said a bit harshly.

Gabe started crying even louder, "Yes you are."

Mal felt bad for yelling at a six year old. He knew that he wasn't going to win the Goddaddy of the year award at this rate. He picked the boy up in his arms and kissed him on the forehead. Gabe just placed his head on Mal's shoulder. "Sorry for yelling. I didn't mean it. Yuanliang?" Mal felt the nodding of forgiveness on his shoulder. "Good why don't we get some crackers to settle your stomach and find for siblings."

As Mal walked through Serenity he was getting a bad feeling. It was too quite. The commons room was empty and so was the kitchen. His feelings where getting worst. He shifted Gabe in the other arm. When Mal reached the cargo bay, his eyes almost popped out of their sockets. "Suoyou zhe shi zui huai de baozha ya fuxie!"

Amina had just pulled down a welding-helmet and sparked the blow torch. "Amina Rose Washburne what in the five special hells to do you think your doing?" Mal yelled as he came from the kitchen. Amina didn't hear him over her wielding. Mal shield himself and Gabe from the fire.

"Amina what do you think your playing at?" Mal said a bit louder.

She heard him this time and cut off the blow torch. "I'm making lunch."

Mal looked down on the floor. There was a frozen dinner package on the ground.

"Momma said I wasn't allowed to use the stove or oven."

"And she said it was ok to use the blow torch?"

"No, not really. She never said not to use it." Amina said innocently.

Mal grabbed the torch away from her. "Well I'm telling you now. NO-MORE-BLOW-TORCH-TO-COOK-FOOD. Dong ma?" Mal looked around the bay. "Where's your brother?"

"I dunno." Amina shrugged. "Goddaddy?"

Mal sighed and shifted Gabe to the other side. "I'm still hungry."

Mal dropped the blow torch and took her by the hand. "We eat as soon as we find Mally." Just as he said that Mal noticed that the air lock doors where open and any tom, dick, or Harry could walk up in Serenity. "Did Mally go outside?" Mal asked as he peered out the door. They where parked in the Keio Docks on Boros. The Keio Docks wasn't the busiest docks on Boros and Mally couldn't get into too much trouble here. Mal walked to the end of the ramp. "You see your brother?"

"No...I'm still hungry." Amina whined.

Mal noticed a very beautiful woman heading his direction. As she came closer Mal realized that she was a Fed. "Zhe bu shi zuihao de yitian." Mal mumbled under his breathe. He put on his biggest smile, "Hiya!"

The women seemed not amused. "Captain Harbatkin?"

"Yes that would be me. How can I help you?" Mal gripped Amina's hand tighter.

"I believe that this belongs to you." The woman turned around to revel a rather dirty Mally holding an even dirtier dog. "You know Captain you should keep a better watch on your children. Keio is no place for children to be running about. Luckily I found him before some slavers did or worst." The lady fed scolded.

"Yes ma'am. How lucky am I that you found him." Mal said kind of sarcastically.

"Your boy needs a good thrashing. He has some pretty funny notions about Federal Alliance Officials." The lady fed looked disgusted at Mally.

"And a thrashing he will get. Thank you." Mal smile grew even broader. "Come on nanhai. You had me worried." Mal pushed Mally into Serenity. He extended his hand to the fed. "Thank you so much. Boys will be boys right?"

The lady fed didn't shake Mal's hand. "I suppose." The lady fed turned and left.

Mal quickly shut the air lock doors. "Malcolm Hoban Washburne…" Mal couldn't think of the right words to describe how upset he was. But, neither Mally or Amina were paying attention to him. They both were engrossed with the dog. "No…no way are we keeping that…" Mal looked at the creature closer. "what is that?"

"Itsa dog Goddaddy. Can we keep him. Pluh-ease." Mally pleaded. He got on his hands and knees.

"No…we're not keeping him." Mal said matter of factly.

"Gabe please you gotta open your mouth." Mal held out the pill. "Look it's not that bad." Mal popped the pill in his mouth, he quickly spit it out. "That's disgusting."

"You gotta sing the medicine go down song." Amina said starring up at Mal.

"Right the medicine go down song…how does it go?" Mal thought at moment. "Mally and Gabe and Amina sleeeep tight in the night…."

"That's the good night song, Goddaddy. You gotta sing the medicine go down song." Amina said as she open a cabinet in the infirmary.

"Close it." Mal ordered. "All the vegetables go down, down, down…down, down, down…all the vegetables go down, down, down…" Mal sang.

"Nooo that's the veggie go down song. Goddaddy don't ya know the song." Amina asked.

"Yes…where's your brother?" Mal looked the window of the infirmary. Mally was playing with the dog in the commons room. "We're not keeping that beast."

"Gabriel, will you be the big boy I know you are and take your medicine. You want to get better right?" Gabe shook his head no and closed his mouth tighter. "I'll give you 5 copper to take it."

"20." Gabe countered.

"20." Mal scoffed. "8."

"17."

"I don't think you understand Gabe. You're gonna take this."

"25." Gabe crossed his arms and pressed his lips tighter.

"That's not how you negotiated. Ya don't go up."

"30."

"30…you've been spending too much time with Jayne. How bout 19?"

"23."

"Deal."

"Deal."

"Now open." Mal ordered and held out the pill.

"We gotta shake on it. Poppa says never make a deal without shaking on it." Gabe said extending his hand.

Mal sighed and shook his hand. Gabe opened his mouth.

Zoë and Wash joined Mal in the kitchen. He was at the table eating dumplings. "Sooo Mal I hear you had a pretty interesting day today. Blow torches, feds, coin, and PuppyBoy." Wash said.

"Sir did you tell Mally he could keep that beast?" Zoë asked as she joined Mal at the table.

"That beast has a name Zoë. It's PuppyBoy." Mal said as he popped a dumpling in his mouth. "And yes I said he could keep it. It was part of our negations."

"Negations, Sir. You negotiated with a six year old?" Zoë crossed her arms. "Did you read the list I gave you, because no negotiations was number 4 on the list."

Mal almost choked on his dumping.

Hao yun Good luck

Dong ma Understand

Fu ai hou qiu Buddha loving monkey balls

Yuanliang forgive me

Suoyou zhe shi zui huai de baozha ya fuxie of all the explosive duck diarrhea this is the worst

Zhe bu shi zuihao de yitian this is not the best day ever

nanhai boy


	4. Book

Book walked slowly to the bridge, he could hear Wash and Zoë scolding the children for their latest angst. After overhearing Jayne say he was "as drunk as a dog on Christmas." The children wanted to see how drunk PuppyBoy could get, so naturally they gave him some of Kaylee's inter-engine wine. PuppyBoy was throwing up for most of the morning. It was all purely scientific, Book thought. He knocked on the edge of the bridge door. Wash turned around quickly and gave Book his grin. Book noticed the children sitting on the floor sulking. "Poor kids." Book thought.

"I just wanted to know how long until we reach the abbey." Book asked stepping more into the bridge. He noted Zoë rubbing her temples intently. Ever since PuppyBoy began a member of the crew, Zoë's responsibilities multiplied. Not only was she a mother, wife, first mate, and warrior, she was now on poop patrol. It always amazed Book how Zoë could juggle all those responsibilities and not go crazy.

"Longing for the peace and quiet of the abbey, Shepherd." Wash said as he flipped some switches.

"No…I just was…" Book noticed Mally trying to slide him self away from his "time out" spot on the bridge.

"Tingliu." Zoë said still rubbing her temples. Mally stopped in his tracks and sulked even more.

"I was just wondering." Book turned to leave, but stopped. "Maybe I could take the children with me." He suggested.

Wash laughed. "Take them were?"

"To the abbey. It would do them some good being planetside for a while."

"Preacher you'd been sampling some of Kaylee's wine?" Zoë replied.

"No. But, the Brethren have added a playground to the grounds…"

The children perked up. "Can we go?" Gabe pleaded.

"Yeah can we go pluh-easeee?" Mally said sitting on his knees.

Zoë just rubbed her temples even more.

"They'll be fine, Zoë." Book placed a comforting hand on her shoulders.

"It ain't them I'm worried about."

Book slowly removed his hand from Zoë. "Why did that sound so ominous?" Book thought to himself.

Wash and Zoë where getting the children dress for their day with Book. They all wanted to wear their very best clothes.

"We'll be real good, Momma." Mally said tying his boot. "You gonna be proud of us." He was having trouble with getting the knot of out his boot. He was wearing his very best flight jumpsuit.

"Poppa you missed a button." Gabe said pointing to the budge in his shirt.

"Sorry son." Wash unbutton Gabe's shirt and started over.

Both of the boys dressed liked their father. Mally preferred the jumpsuit parts of Wash and Gabe always wanted to wear button down aloha shirts. This was one trait that Zoë had hoped that her children didn't inherit.

Zoë was trying to braid Amina's hair but was having trouble. "Amina sit still."

The girl just wiggled. "It hurts." She rubbed her head where Zoë was trying to part it.

Book came into the room to see if the children where ready. "I have something for you Mally."

Mally gave up on his boot and ran to Book. He pulled out a small leather string. "All the other brethren wear it to hold back their hair." He brushed back Mally's curly fro into a ponytail and tied it back. Mally had decided after Book telling him the story of Sampson he didn't want his hair cut anymore, because he didn't want to loose his strength.

"Whatta bout us?" Amina whined.

Book smiled warmly. "I have something for you too." He handed Amina a small silver chain with a cross on it. He placed the necklace around her neck.

"Ganxie." Amina admired her necklace. "Ain't it shiny?"

Zoë just smiled and took advantage of Amina being distracted by her necklace to finish her hair.

"And for you Gabe...I thought you might like this." Book pulled out a gold pocket watch. Gabe eyes grew two sizes bigger. "Ganxie, Shepherd."

"You have anything for me and Zoë." Wash asked.

"Ah…no." Book smiled. He was actually looking forward spending time with the children.

He waited while the children got ready. After 10 minutes of Amina changing her dress they were all ready. The girl had decided to go with the brown qi pao with little white and pink flowers on it that Inara had given to her. Book looked at the rather stylish children. They all wanted to look their best for their day with him.

"Shepherd, can we bring PuppyBoy?" Mally asked holding the leash.

Book thought a moment. "Sure, I don't see why not."

Mally quickly ran out the room trying to find is dog.

"Book you're a brave man." Wash put his hand on his shoulder. "Here."

Book took the rather long piece of paper from Wash's hand.

"It's uh…little list that me and misses made up…some guidelines to watching our…little blessings." Wash almost laughed.

Zoë just gave him one of her looks. "Just follow the list, Preacher and you'll be…" Zoë looked down at Gabe and Amina who were fighting over a clearly broken toy and Mally who had now returned with the beast. "fine." She tired to give a reassuring smile, but she failed horribly.

"I understand." Book wondered what he had gotten himself into. "Let's go we have a long walk ahead of us."

"We gotta walk?" Mally whined-asked.

"We almost there yet?" Mally whined. He trailed behind Book and the others slowly with PuppyBoy dragging behind him.

Book turned around to the boy. They had only been walking 5 minutes he could still see Serenity in the background. He smiled and replied, "Almost."

Mally sulked. He tugged on PuppyBoy's leash, "Almost there, boy." The dog just whimpered.

The other two children where too busy taking in the sites to care how long they had been walking. Book had to hold on to their hands tight because at every turn they wanted to run off. Book wished he had a leash for the children.

"Hey, grandpa…" A rather disreputable man said.

Book tired to ignore him, but he was having some trouble because Mally had stopped to indulge the man.

"Hey what's your name kid?" The man asked.

"Mally."

"Why don't ya ask your Grandpa if he wants to buy any of my goods. I gotta lot of stuff here."

Mally examined the table. Nothing tickled his fancy. "It looks like a bunch of wuyong zhu fuxie." Mally observed.

"That's a pretty dirty mouth you got there kid. You kiss your mother with that mouth?" The man asked sounding offended by Mally's statement.

"Yeah, what else I'm supposed to kiss her with, my foot?" Mally just laughed and tried to catch up with the others.

"Shepherd." Gabe asked.

"Yes."

"How come every time we're out with you people call you grandpa. You ain't married."

Book just sighed. "I don't know."  
"It's cause he's old." Amina added in.

"I may be old, but I'm young at heart." Book smiled at the girl.

Amina just looked at him funny. "Poppa says that's what old people say when they don't want to feel sooo old."

Book just shook his head and continued on his journey. They walked for a few more minutes, when Book realized that the children where no longer with him. He looked around frantically, but he couldn't find them. The Book notice a thin man dress up as a magician holding Mally and Gabe by the shirt collars and Amina trailing behind them with PuppyBoy. The man Book also observed was limping.

"I believe they belong to you, sir." The man pushed Mally and Gabe towards him. "Your grandchildren are totally unruly and need a good talking to. They ruined my act." The man stormed off.

The kids just laughed, but Book was not amused. The children sensed that he was not happy with them.

"You mad at us Shepherd? Cause it won't our fault…" Gabe proclaimed.

"Come on…" Book grabbed Gabe and Mally's hand.

"Where we going?" Gabe asked while he was being dragged by Book.

"I don't know what you three did to that man, but we're going to apologize to him."

Mally stopped him his tracks and crossed his arms.

"Malcolm, you did something to offend that man and the right thing to do is to apologize to that man."

Mally didn't budge. Gabe and Amina just stood there trying to look as innocent as they could.

"We didn't dooo anything." Mally pouted.

"Then why was the man so upset?"

"Cause he was just mad cause Gabe figured out all his ben magic tricks. Then he yelled at Gabe. He called him a brat…"

"Is that all?"

"No."

"What happen after he called Gabe a brat?" Book's voice softened.

"I kicked him in his shin and Amina knocked over all his stuff. Thennn…he grabbed Amina by the arm…" Mally made sure that he pointed out the fresh bruise on his sister arm where the man had grabbed her too hard. Book frowned, but Mally wasn't finished his story. "Thennnn…Gabe kicked him in the other shin and PuppyBoy ripped his pants."

Book just sighed. He didn't have a defense for this one. He couldn't be mad at the children, because they were defending them selves. But, he didn't want them to walk away easily without learning from this experience.

Book bent down to look the children in the eyes. "Remember what I told you about turning the other cheek?"

"But, Sheppherd…" Mally protested. "He hurt my brother and sister. And not nobody does that."

"Yes, but you didn't have to kick him because he called Gabriel a brat…that's seems where all your trouble begin…"

Mally whimpered, "Shepherd you gonna give us a sermon?"

Book laughed. Mal had rubbed off on the children more than one way. "No."

He took Mally and Gabe's hand. "Come on I want to reach the abbey before lunch."

What took Book normally 20 minutes to get from the docks to the abbey took him an hour with the children. Between the "are we there yet's?", "stop looking at me's", "I know you are and what am's,", "I have to go to the bathroom's", "I'm hungry's", and "Shepherd can you carry me's" this was definitely Book's longest walk ever.

They finally reach the abbey and it's the biggest thing the triplets have ever seen. All three are awe struck. Book laughs to himself. Before he can open the door, it swings open, a rather large, but beautiful woman opened the door and embraced Book.

"Book it's been too long." The woman said into Book's ear. She notices the children looking at her. "It's really been too long…who are these angels?" She lets go of Book to examine the children.

Book stood proudly as he watched the woman ogle over the children. "These are the pilot and first mate's triplets." He pointed at them as he talked. "That one is Malcolm, Gabriel, and Amina."

"Well aren't they just precious…Well come on then…we're about to have noon day service. Landon going to hit the ceiling when he sees you." The woman said as she led the children into the abbey.

Amina tugged on Book's shirt. "Is that your girlfriend?" She asked.

Book just laughed. "No, dear. She's a shepherd. Just like me."

"OOOhhh. She's pretty. Maybe she should be your girlfriend." Amina made kissy faces at Book.

"Come on." Book took her by the hand.

When they reached the sanctuary the children where even more awe struck.

Mally turned to the woman. "Ms. Lady is this heaven?"

The women returned the glare at Mally. Then she noticed the look on Gabe and Amina's faces. "Book, where have you been keeping these children? No sweetheart this isn't heaven. Far from it."

"Oh." Mally said as he proceeded to venture further in.

"Hold on." The woman turned to Book. "Which one is that?"

"He's Mally. I'm Gabe." Gabe stressed. "I'm the prettier one." He said smiling.

"My mistake." The woman caught up with Mally. "Why don't we tie your…" She turned and looked at Book. She wasn't quite sure what PuppyBoy was.

Book took her queue. "I'll bet PuppyBoy will enjoy being outside more than in here." Book took the leash. "Lena why don't you take the children inside and get them settled in." Book smiled.

Amina and Gabe laughed. "That's shepherd's girlfriend." She whispered into her brother's ear.

When Book returned he found the children sitting quietly on the pew listening intently on the sermon. Lena was preaching. He would have to scold Wash and Zoë for having such little faith in their children. They were behaving perfectly. He sat beside Amina, who immediately snuggle up against him. Lena spoke for a few more minutes then invited Book up to speak. He was hesitant at first, but then he noticed that the children where all asleep. So, he took advantage of this moment to go up and speak in front of a congregation.

When he was finished people and the brethren all crowed around him wanting to hear his tale's from the verse. "Maybe after lunch?" Book said as he pushed through the crowd to get to the children. When he got to the pew they were sitting at they where gone. Book looked around frantically. This was the second time today that he had lost the children.

"Book what's wrong?" Lena asked in concern.

"The children…they were right here." Book pointed to the empty pew.

"Oh…well, they probably went outside to the playground. No need to get all worked up." Lena reassured Book.

The pair headed out to the playground. Book scanned around. There was no sign of the children. "They're not here."

Lena looked around herself. "Nope I don't see them either."

Book was going through his pockets. "What are you looking for? I don't think that they're in your pockets, Book."

"No, their father gave me a list."

"A list?"

"Yes. A list. Lena these aren't your typical children. They can be quite…"

Lena put a comforting hand on Book's shoulder. "How much trouble can they really get into? It'll be fine."

Book paced back and forth muttering profanities under his breath. He looked at the triplets sitting on the bench outside of the abbey. Mally was covered in some type of bluish-gray goo that smelled really bad, Gabe was holding his injured arm and soaking wet, and Amina just sat there looking innocent.

"I found some clothes that might fit Mally and I got some bandages." Lena said. She handed Book the clothes for Mally and tended to Gabe's arm.

"Gabriel...do you want to tell me how your arm got hurt?" Lena said as she rubbed some ointment on his arm.

"No, not really." Gabe replied.

"That's fine. But, you want to know something funny?" Gabe nodded. "Our mule, somehow it got all the way to the other end of the grounds. And it crashed into the water line." Lena finished bandaging up his arm. "Isn't that funny?"

Gabe didn't reply he just shrugged.

"Book, why don't you take Mally and get him changed. I'll take Amina and Gabe over to the dinning hall." Lena said as she outstretched her hands to Gabe and Amina.

"Are you sure?" Book asked unsure if he wanted to let the children out of his sight again.

Lena smiled. "I think I can handle them. Just get Mally cleaned up. He really smells."

Book and a newly cleaned Mally joined the rest in the dinning. The other two children had already begun eating. Mally looked upset.

"Where's mine?" Mally whined.

"Right here." Gabe handed him a plate of food. "It's real good too. Look real meat. It's bail."

"What's bail?" Mally said as he picked at the meat.

"It looks like a chicken, but its all little." Gabe told his brother as he shoveled more food in his mouth. "It's not bail, Gabriel. It's quail. It's a type of bird." Book corrected the boys.

"Ohhh." The boys said in unison.

Book sat down beside Mally. Lena brought him his plate. "Thank you." Amina came from the other end of the table and sat beside Book.

"Shepherd?" Mally called. "What's that?" Mally pointed to the small green round things on his plate. He swished them with his chop stick.

"Peas."

"What are peas?" Gabe asked.

"There a type of vegetable."

"I don't like them." Mally said as he pushed his plate away.

"You never had peas before how do you know you don't like them?"

"They're vegetables." Mally stuck out his tongue.

Book just shook his head. "Fine, don't eat them. But you have to eat the rest of your food."

"I don't want it."

Book sighed. "Why?"

"The peas touched my quail. It's all pea infested." Mally said as he crossed his arms in defiance.

Book slid his plate over to Mally. "Here, no peas have touched my quail."

"But they're still on there." Mally pointed to the peas as they rolled around.

Book scrapped the peas onto Mally's old plate. "There no peas." Mally smiled and started eating.

After eating their meal Book took the children outside to burn off some energy before they headed back to Serenity. He sat on the bench and watched them play with the other children. Lena sat beside him.

"I've arranged for someone to take you and the children back to your ship."  
"Thank you."  
"They are some interesting children."

Book smiled. "You should meet the rest of them."

"You've changed, Derrial."

"Yes. I think I have. For the better I hope?"

Book noticed a small girl having trouble tying her shoe. "Need help?"

The sat on Book's lap so he could tie her shoe. "What's your name little one?"

"Ester." The girl said.

"Do you want to hear a story about a sad bunny?"

The girl nodded her head. Book started his story, "Once there was a rabbit that was very sad because his ears were so long and narrow that he stepped on them all the time. One day a fairy landed on the bunny's head. She lifted up the bunny's ears and crossed them over like an x. Then she put one ear through the bottom of the x and pulled. Next, she made each long ear into a loop and made another x like before. She put an ear under that x and pulled again. From then on the bunny remembered how to tie his ears into a bow, and he lived happily every after." When he was done Easter's shoe was tied nice and neat.

"You have changed." Lena said to Book.

Amina noticed the girl sitting on Book's nap. She came over and pushed the girl off of him. "Get your own shepherd!" Amina yelled at the girl crying on the ground.

Book quickly got up to come to the girl's aide. "Amina, why did you push her?" Book said wiping the girl's tears.

"Cause you're my shepherd. There's plenty here for her to get her own." Amina said crossing her arms.

Book looked at Lena who was laughing at the display. "Apologize...there is enough of me to share."

Amina made a face. "Bad enough I gotta share with my brothers, but I gotta share with her?"

"Yes. Now apologize."

"Baoqian." Amina said under her breath.

"Say it so she can hear it."

"Boaqian."

There was a small explosion from the other side of the grounds.

"What was that?" Book asked.

"It sounds like it came from the shed." Lena responded.

They both got up to investigate the explosion. They were joined by some other shepherds. The shed was on fire.

"Keep the children away." A shepherd commanded.

The other shepherds pushed the children away from the fire. Book looked at the three standing next to him.

"You three wouldn't know how the shed caught on fire?"

"No." They all said together.

They all watched as the shed burned to the ground.

"It was an explosive device that caused the fire." One of the other shepherds said.

"A bomb? Here?" Another shepherd said.

"I found it." A dirty shepherd came out of the wood work. He held a small burnt piece of metal. "It looks homemade. A small flash bomb."

All of the other shepherds looked confused. "Who would put a flash bomb in the shed?"

Book and Lena both looked at each other. The triplets where standing behind them looking all too innocent especially Amina.

"So that list Wash gave you preacher…" Zoë said as she hammered down on the wood.

"I don't know what happened…I remember putting it in my pocket." Book said as he picked up another piece of wood.

"See that's why I say we put 'em in cages. Only let'em out to eat." Jayne said on top of the roof as Book handed him the wood. "Can't get in trouble in cages."

Chinese translations

Tingliu stay

Ganxie thanks

qi pao fitted dress with mandarin collars, cap sleeves and frog button closures

wuyong zhu fuxie useless pig diarrhea

ben stupid

Baoqian Sorry


	5. Inara

Wash dumped a sleeping Mally on Inara's bed. "Thanks again for watching them for me."

Kaylee came in struggling to hold the sleepy Gabe. She plopped him down on the bed beside his brother. Amina came trailing in as cheery as sunshine.

"The boys should sleep most of the time…We shouldn't be long. Shuttle one has on mechanical problems. We gotta go and bail them out." Wash said out of breath.

Inara smiled warmly at Wash. "It'll be fine. I'm sure we will have lots of fun. Won't we Amina?"

Amina just smiled. Wash just looked at Inara and then back at Amina. "Yeah, shiny." Wash looked around Inara's shuttle.

"What are you looking for?" She asked him.

"Paper and a pen."

Inara found some parchment and a fountain pen and handed them to Wash. He gave her a funny look. "So this is a list of things…in case the boys wake up. Just follow this and baby sitting should be no problem." Wash smiled nervously at Inara. "Don't worry about PuppyBoy. He's been fed and all that stuff." Wash stopped writing and looked at the paper. He laughed to himself, "can't forget to put that down…"

"Wash we gotta go." Kaylee said from outside of Inara's shuttle.

"Kay, just a sec." Wash finished writing and handed Inara the list. "Ok, this is the abridge version, but the basics are here. Thanks again Nara." Wash said as he kissed her on the cheek.

"My pleasure." Inara smiled.

"Whatta bout me?" Amina said extending her arms to her father.

"Be good for Nara, Dong ma."

"I will." Amina said ever so sweetly.

Wash kissed her on her forehead and left.

Amina pouted as she watched her father leave. She turned around to investigate what Inara was doing. "Whatcha doing?" Amina sat down on her knees and placed her hands on her face by Inara.

"Calligraphy."

"What's that?" Amina asked.

Inara did another stroke and put down her brush. She smiled at the girl. "Calligraphy means '_Beautiful Writing_' it is an ancient Chinese art form. It originated during the reign of the Yellow Emperor a man named Cang Jie back on Earth-that-was. But it did not become an art until the reign of Qin Dynasty and started to blossom in the Han Dynasty..." Inara noticed the blank stare in Amina's face. She realized that she was sounding a lot like her old house mistress, boring.

"Do you want to try?" Amina nodded. Inara handed Amina another brush. "You need to hold the brush straight up, like this." Amina followed suit. "Good. Now make sure that you hold the brush between your thumb and middle finger." Inara demonstrated.

"Like this?" Amina struggled to hold the brush in her small hands.

"Hen hao xio gongzhu …now your pointer finger should lightly touch the top part of the brush…while your ring and pinky finger are tucked under the bottom."

Amina struggled with the brush. "I can't hold it." She tried again and failed. She threw the brush down.

Patiently Inara picked up the brush. "It takes time. But I know that you are a smart girl. Here." Inara placed the brush back into her hand. "Look at how I am holding it." Amina studied the way that Inara held the brush. This time she was able to hold it still. "See, I knew you could do it."

Inara got up and went to her truck and pulled out a small huàzhān.

"What's that?" Amina asked still holding her brush.

"My old huazhan. My mother gave me this when I was about your age." Inara placed the small pad in front of Amina. She then placed a piece of xuanzhi.

"Now I want you to watch me carefully as I write." Inara took her own piece of xuanzhi and began to work. Amina watched her carefully mimicking her to the tee. When she was finished Inara showed Amina her work.

"Do you know what that says?"

"Serenity." The girl said smiling from ear to ear.

"Right. Now your turn." Inara watched the girl work. She was surprised at Amina's determination to get the symbol correct. It took her a few times before she was satisfied with her work. Inara didn't know how she had done it but Amina had ink all over her face and hands. She laughed at the mess the girl was.

"They look like Jayne's nakked girl pictures." Mally said laughing.

"What are they doing?" Gabe asked. Gabe held a large book in his hands. He tilted his head to try to understand the book.

"I think you got it upside down." Mally suggested.

Gabe turned the book upside to see if it would get any better. "I still don't get it…Nara what's these people doing?" Gabe asked. He looked up from the book.

Inara had been so busy with Amina that she didn't notice that the boys were awake from their nap. She was looking through her trunk for a towel to wipe Amina's face. "What's that honey?" She asked not looking up.

"In your picture book…what are they doing?" Gabe closed the book and looked at the cover. He was trying to sound out the title. "Kam…ma.. Kama Suu…trr…a Sutra. Kama Sutra."

Inara dropped what she was doing and quickly turned around. "Gabriel what are you two reading?" Inara walked slowly over to the boys. Her faced lost all color to it. The boys had found her Kama Sutra book. She quickly snatched the book from the boys. "That's not for little boys."

"What where they doing?" Gabe asked again.

"How come they was all twisted up." Mally tried to mimic a position he saw in the book.

Inara was a lost for words. Normally talking about sex didn't bother her. Sex was merely a state of being for her. She wasn't puritanical about sex, but something about this bothered her to her core. Inara had to gather herself up and think of something to answer the boys' questions. She knew if she didn't answer them they wouldn't let it go. "It's umm a wrestling book. They were wrestling."

"Ohhh." The boys said together.

"How come they were naked?" Mally asked, not fully satisfied with Inara's answer.

Once again Inara was a lost for words. "Qinai tian mi fo ….Because sweetheart, you have to color their clothes in." Inara said as sweet as she could. She quickly put the book on a high shelf in her shuttle.

"Inara what do you do?" Mally asked. "I mean Poppa flies Serenity, Momma's makes sure that nobody gets shot, Goddaddy is the captain, Kaylee fixes Serenity's boo boos, Simon fixes your boo boos, Shepherd he preachers, River tells the best stories, and Jayne he's the best shot in the verse…but what do you do?" He sat up on Inara's bed waiting for her answer.

Even though Mally wasn't the Captain's son he sure did take after him. "She's a champion." Amina answered for Inara. "That's why she got the wrestling book. She's a champion wrestler." Amina didn't look up from her calligraphy. She stuck the pen in her mouth and admired her work. "Right Inara?"

Inara wasn't sure if Amina was talking about her calligraphy or her occupation and she didn't care. "Yes…you're exactly right." Inara grabbed the boys' hands. "Why don't we find something to eat?" She pulled the boys off of the bed.

The children raced to the kitchen and Inara followed slowly behind them. Mally and Gabe fought over which chair to sit in. Gabe won and Mally pouted on the floor.

"There are plenty of chairs Malcolm." Inara pulled out a chair for Mally. He got in the chair and stuck his tongue out.

"So." Gabe retorted.

Inara went to the cabinets to find something to fix. "What do you three want to eat?" She pulled out a couple of cans.

"Yams." Gabe suggested.

"Rice and beans." Mally responded.

"Dumplings." Amina added in.

Inara read the cans in the hand they both were pea soup. "Ok, yams for Gabriel, rice and beans for Malcolm and dumplings for Amina." She put the pea soup back in the cabinet. Inara was skilled in many things, cooking was not one of them.

Amina peered up at the stove. "I don't think it's supposed to smell like that?" She pinched her nose.

"It's the spices I put in it." Inara wiped her brow. She stirred the rice and beans again.

"But it smells like Jayne's feet."

She opened the can of yams and plopped its contents in another pot. Luckily for Inara she didn't have to cook Amina's dumplings because there was some left over. She let the yams cook for a while before she turned the burner off.

With the grace that only Inara possessed she placed the plates of food in front of the children. They all looked at their plates disappointed. "What's wrong?"

They all looked up at her with an "are you serious" look. "Nara…" Mally whined.

"Yes Mally."

"We don't have any chopsticks." He poked at his food with is finger. He made a face.

Inara handed them all chopsticks. Gabe was the first to sample his meal. "It's all lumpy…you didn't get the all the lumps out." He pointed to several lumps on his plate of smashed yams.

"Just eat around the lumps." Inara suggested.

"But there're everywhere…"

"Chi."

Gabe whined and picked over the lumpy yams. Inara noticed that Mally and Amina weren't eating their food also.

"What's wrong with your food." Inara asked standing in between them.

"My rice is hard." Mally looked up at Inara with big puppy dog eyes. "It's all crunchy." He made a face as he tired to chew his food.

Inara took the chopsticks away from him and sampled the food herself. "It can't be that hard." When she bit down she felt the crunchiness of the rice. Inara turned to Amina whose arms where folded and her lip hung low. "And what's wrong with your food xiao gongzhu?"

"How come Mally and Gabe get new food and I got ruttin leftovers." Amina's lip hung even lower.

"Amina language."

"It's not fair…I want new food."

Inara took a deep breath. "Fine." She collected all the plates and threw the food in the trash. She opened the cupboard and pulled out a half of a cake. "I know this isn't what you use to, but I thought maybe this time." Inara placed the cake on the table. The children looked at it greedily.

"Momma never gives us cake." Mally said as he licked his lips.

"She says we're already hopped up enough." Gabe added.

"But Momma ain't here." Amina went over to the counter and pulled the knife out.

Inara took the knife away from the girl and carefully cut the cake into four equal pieces. "Now, this has to be our little secret okay."

The boys got the plates and the utensils from the counter and placed them on the table.

"We promise." Gabe said.

Inara put each piece on the plate. They all ate it in relative silence, besides when they are asleep this was the quietest Inara had ever seen the children. After they were finished eating the children helped Inara clean up the kitchen.

"So, now what do you want to do?" Inara asked as she wiped off the last crumb.

"Can I let PuppyBoy out?" Mally pushed in the last chair.

"I don't see why not."

Mally quickly ran out the kitchen and his brother followed. "I'm getting some of my toys."

"Do you want to do some more calligraphy?" Inara asked Amina. The girl nodded her head. Inara and Amina headed back to her shuttle.

Amina went back to work. Inara showed her some more characters too learned. Amina enjoyed learning, Inara enjoyed teaching. It almost came natural to her.

"Make sure that it's all one fluid motion…" Inara guided her hand as they made a new character.

"Very good…You are definitely talented."

Amina just beamed. They continued to work.

"Nara…"

"Yes, dear."

"Whatta you think the boys are doing?"

Inara jumped up. She had totally forgotten about the boys. "Stay here and work on your calligraphy…I'll be right back."

The first place Inara checked for the boys were the bridge. There was no sign of them there. She checked the cargo bay and the kitchen. Still nothing. She headed for the children's room.

"You gotta get me out!" Mally whined.

"I'm trying…the lock broke." Gabe held a crowbar in his hand trying to pry his brother out of PuppyBoy's cage. "I told you not to go in there."

"Qinai tian mi fo!" Inara grabbed the crowbar from Gabe. "What happen?"

"Mally wanted to see what it was like to be PuppyBoy…so he got in his cage and I shut it, but I can't get it opened. The lock broke." Gabe pointed to a very bended lock.

Inara's companion training had taught her to stay calm in any situation, but nothing had prepared her for what to do when a six year old has locked himself in a dog cage. "Ok just stay calm; Mally I'll get you out."

"I am calm."

Inara tried to pry it open. No luck. She attempted another angle. She still couldn't get it open.

"Nara."

"Yes, Mally."

"I gotta pee."

"Well you should of thought of that before you decided to lock yourself in a dog cage." Inara said a bit too harshly. "I'll get the bolt cutters. Gabe why don't you get a book and read to Mally."

"Okay."

Gabe and Inara ran into several different directions. Inara went into the engine room to look for the bolt cutters. "Ok if I was Kaylee where would I put the bolt cutters?" Inara frantically looked around the engine room. No luck. So, she decided to try again with the crowbar. When she arrived to the cage that contained Mally, Gabe and PuppyBoy sat there reading to him.

"You find the bolt cutters?" Mally whimpered.

He looked funny cramped up in the cage. There was only enough room for him to sit crossed leg and he was hunched over.

"No, honey I didn't. You don't know where Kaylee would put it?" Inara asked crouching down to meet Mally.

"No." He responded solemnly.

Inara sat beside Gabe and PuppyBoy. "What are you reading?"

"Some book Shepherd gave us. It's about a couple of kids who lived back on Earth-that-was named Tom Sawyer and Huck-a-berry Fin. They're real shiny. They gets into all kinds of trouble." Gabe handed Inara the book. "Can you read some?"

Inara took the book and continued reading to the boys. Inara didn't realize that the rest of the crew had returned. "'The average man don't like trouble and danger.' "

"Finally someone listens to me." Jayne said. "Put 'em in cages…"

"Momma, Poppa…I'm stuckkkk Inara couldn't get me out." Mally exclaimed.

Inara looked up from the book. "Zoë, Wash, I tried…"

"It's ok." Wash said. "I'll got get something to get Mally out."

Inara noticed that Amina was covered head to toe in paint.

"Amina what happened?" Inara asked.

"I ran out of paper…so I decided to paint the cargo bay doors. It's a real shiny picture…I didn't get to finish before they got back."

Inara was attempting to restore her shuttle to its previous immaculate state, but it was a larger task than she anticipated it to be. It looked like hurricane Amina had rip through it. Inara was just glad that she didn't try to take off in her shuttle.

"Sooo, locking them in a dog cage…that's a new one." Mal sauntered into Inara's shuttle. "I mean, I expect that kind of stuff from Jayne. But, you such a civilized woman…"

"At least I didn't loose one of them."

"I didn't loose my godchildren. I knew where they were." Mal said defensively.

"You know I don't recall saying come in."

"I didn't knock."

"Is there something I can do for you?"

Mal made himself comfortable on Inara's couch. "I was just wondering when you where planning to line up your next wrestling match."

"What?" Inara turned around. "Make yourself comfortable."

"Your next wrestling match…you're a champion." Mal gave her a devilish grin.

There was a small knock on her door. "Jinru."

Amina crept in.

"Does your folks know your up?"

Amina shook her head.

"It's real simple Mal…knocking, even a six year old can do it. You should try it sometime." Inara grinned at Mal. She turned her attention to Amina who was wore one of Jayne's shirts as a night gown. "What is it sweetie?"

"I was wondering if you could still teach me calligraphy?"

Inara smiled. "Of course."

"But we can't do it yet. Momma took all my paint, crayons, and pencils away. She said I couldn't use them for a week."

"Well when you get your things back then we can start."

Amina gave Inara huge hug.

"Shiny."

Mal got up from his lounging spot on Inara's couch. "Let's get you to bed." He scooped Amina up in his arms. "Say good night to Inara."

"Night Nara."

Mal and Amina left her shuttle. She collapsed on her bed. Her companion training had prepared her for lots of things but nothing had prepared her for this day. Inara was just glad it was over.

Chinese translations

Hen hao xio gongzhu Good little princess

huàzhān the desk pad is a pad made of felt. It is printed with grids on both sides, so that when it is placed under the translucent paper, it can be used as a guide to ensure correct placement and size of characters

Xuanzhi Special type of paper are used in East Asian calligraphy on the pad and a paper weight to hold it down

Qinai tian mi fo Dear sweet Buddha

Chi eat

xiao gongzhu little princess

jinru enter


	6. Simon

Simon took the thermometer out of Gabe's mouth. He read the temperature then examined the small dots on his body.

"Yep…it's Varicella." He said as he swatted Mally's hand from starching his pox.

"Varwhatta?" Wash asked befuddled.

"Varicella…chicken pox."

"Ohh chicken pox right." Wash said still not knowing what chicken pox is.

Simon shook his head. He pulled out a small bottle of lotion. "It's a common childhood disease caused by the varicella-zoster virus it starts with conjunctival and catarrhal symptoms, moderate fever and then characteristic spots appearing in two or three waves, mainly on the body and head rather than the hands and becoming itchy raw pox, small open sores which heal mostly without scarring..."

"Doctor." Zoë interrupted him. "What does all this mean?"

"Basically it's a rash." Simon rubbed some lotion on Gabe. "Try not to scratch."

"But, it itches…" Gabe whined. "Scratch my back." He said to his sister.

"If you scratch my foot."

Gabe turned around so that Amina could scratch his back and she stuck out her foot so he could do the same for her. Mally was rubbing against the side of the infirmary bed.

"Stop scratching you three. They can get infected if you scratch too much." Simon pulled Amina off of Gabe and sat Mally back on the bed.

"Have you and Wash had the chicken pox before?" Simon swatted Mally's hand away from his chest.

"Until today I ain't never heard of chicken pox." Wash said. "I'm beginning to itch. Honey do I have any red dots on me?" Wash pulled down the collar of his shirt.

"How long will they be like this?" Zoë totally ignored Wash who was scratching just as much as the children.

"A few days. A week at the most. But, Zoë, Wash if you two haven't had the chicken pox I advise you to have limited contact with the triplets until the pox scab over. They are highly contagious right now and adult Varicella can be bad, deadly even."

"Deadly?" Wash scratch. "Honey did you check?"

Still ignored Wash, "Doctor they're our children, how do you expect us to have limited contact?"

"I don't know. But, we should make sure that they have limited access to the crew. I don't want an epidemic on the ship. I know River and I both were vaccinated for Varicella when we were younger. I'm most certain that Inara was also…"

"Zoë…you ready?" Mal peeked into the infirmary.

"Captain, stay away." Simon ordered.

"You ordering me on my ship?" Mal noticed that Mally and Gabe where rubbing against each other and Amina was turning around in circles on the floor. "What's with them?"

"They have Vericella."

"Verwhatta?"

Simon took a deep breath. "Chicken pox."

"Still at a lost here Doctor." Mal started to scratch.

"I take it from that you never had the chicken pox."

"Uh…no."

Mally got a hold of one of Simon's scalpels and was about to take that to his brother when Simon snatched it away from him.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm cutting these ruttin dots off him." Mally scratched his neck furiously.

"You can't cut them out Mally. Stop scratching."

"But they itchhhhh."

"The more you scratch. The more they will itch."

"But it feels soooo good." Mally was now leaning against the counter rubbing the sides of it.

"Captain, you and Jayne may have to do the drop." Zoë picked up Amina off the floor and sat her back on the bed.

"I need you on this drop."

"The kids are sick sir."  
"I can see that, but the good doctor will take good care of them." Mal scratched his chest. "Besides we'll only be a few hours at most."

Jayne came and joined them in the infirmary. "Lou just waved us, Mal. He's waiting for the goods." He noticed that everyone was scratching except for Simon and Zoë. "Why ya'll itching?"

"The triplets have Vericella."

"Huh?"

"Chicken pox."

"They made a pack with chickens?"

"How do you even understand the English language?"

Jayne went in further into the infirmary to examine the triplets himself.

"Jayne I wouldn't get too close. They're highly contagious right now." Simon warned.

"Awe hell, they got the dots. I had that when I was a critter. That ain't nothin'."

"So you had Vericella?"

"If that's your prissy word for the dots then yeah, I had 'em." Jayne scratched Amina's back for her. "There you go, gongzhu better?"

"Xiexie, Janie."

"We got a time table people. I would love to stay here and scratch all day, but we got a job to do. Zoë, Jayne."

"Sir."

"Zoë, they'll be fine. Simon you'll look after my Godchildren while we're gone?" Mal didn't give Simon a chance to answer. "Good. Let's move."

"Momma you leaving us?" Amina put on her biggest puppy dog eye face on. "But we're sick and Poppa don't sing the feel better song right. He always messes up the words."

Zoë smiled and kissed her daughter. "I'll sing it to you when I get back. I promise."

"Wo ai ni. Gan hui."

"I will." Zoë followed Mal and Jayne out of the infirmary.

"Well that's my queue to leave."

"Wash, where are you going?"

"I didn't tell you? I've uh…I gotta help Kaylee out with something…with the ship."

"Didn't Kaylee and River go with Inara?"

"Did I say Kaylee, I meant the Shepherd."

"Are you trying to abandon your sick children?"

"Abandon…that's such a strong word…I wouldn't say abandon cause I would never abandon them. They're my pride and joy…" Wash scratched his leg. "I just don't do, sick. That's Zoë's department. You heard Amina. I mess up the feel better song." He scratched his side.

"Wash." Mal said over the comm "I'm gonna need you to pick up some supplies in town and fuel up Serenity."

"Mashang." Wash hit the comm. "Well Doc seems that I have a real excuse now." Wash quickly fled the room.

Simon just stared at the scratching children. "Great I'm stuck with babysitting." Simon picked up Gabe from off the floor. "You're really going to have to stop scratching…all of you."

Wash came back into the room. "Before I go here." He handed him a piece of paper.

"What's this?"

"It's uh a list of things, when watching my xiaotianshi, whom I love and cherish with all my heart."

"I'm a doctor. I don't think I need a list to watch the triplets."

Wash laughed. "Ah…so young, so naïve. Take the list Doctor. "

"Poppa you leaving too?" Mally asked scratching his face.

"Yeah, I gotta get some things and fuel up Serenity."

"Bring us something shiny back?" Gabe asked.

"Ain't I shiny enough?"

"No." Gabe said flatly.

"I need some paint, Poppa." Amina and Mally where rubbing their backs together.

"Ok. Be good for Simon."

"Seriously Doc, read the list, breath the list, live the list." Wash left Simon along with three scratching children.

"Dr. Simon can you make it stop itching?" Mally was getting frustrated.

"Yeah, don't you got a shot for this?" Gabe had taken Simon's pen and was using that as a back scratchier. "Cause you always giving us shots."

"You're going to a have to wait it out. I promise the itching will last for a few days."

"A few days. That's forever." Amina was rolling around on the floor again trying to relieve her itching.

Simon put the list in his pocket. "Come on follow me."

Like little scratching ducks the children followed Simon out of the infirmary and into the kitchen. Simon rummaged through the cupboards. "Found it."

"What?" Amina asked. She was using chopsticks now to scratch her back, while her brothers were unitizing the chairs.

"Oatmeal."

"I ain't hungry. I'm itchhhyyy." She whined.

"It's not for you to eat. It's for you to take a bath in."

"We took a bath yesterday. We gotta take another?" Mally asked.

"Yes. The oatmeal will help stop the itching." Simon took the chop sticks from Amina's hand.

"Hey."

"You have to stop scratching."

"But the boys are still scratching…" She protested.

"Tattle tail." Mally retorted.

"Am not."

"Are too."

"Well you're a ben mao hou pigu."

"I know you are but what am I."

"Well you smell like three day old yang yiwan."

"I'm rubber you're glue what every you say bounces off of me and sticks to you."

"Zhizhi dajia anjing." Simon ordered.

All three of the kids stop what they were doing.

"Now, this is what we are going to do. Amina, you're going to stop using foul language. Malcolm you are going to be nice to your sister. And all of you are going to stop scratching. We are all going to go into your room, without bickering and take a nice warm oatmeal bath." Simon's voice was oddly calm. The children didn't argue and followed him to their room.

"Now sit on the bed quietly and with out scratching while I draw your bath." Simon left them alone in silence. He was feeling very confident about himself at the moment. He went to the bathroom and drew the bath, he poured oatmeal all in the tub. When he returned to the room he found only Gabe in the room starching his back with one of his toy dinos.

"Where's your bother and sister?"  
"I dunno."

"Stop starching." Simon grabbed Gabe's hand and took him into the bathroom.

"Get in."

Gabe peered into the tube. "Ewe, that's not bubbles."

"It's oatmeal."

"Ewe. I'm not taking a bath in oatmeal."

"Gabriel please get in the tub. I promise that once you get in. You'll feel better."

Gabe was a bit wary. "Ok. Promise I'll feel better."

"Promise."

Gabe stripped down and got into the tub. "Now stay there while I find your brother and sister.

Simon left the bathroom to search for the missing siblings. He heard a crash in the infirmary. Quickly Simon ran to the room. He noticed that the infirmary door was closed and Mally was making a mess inside. "Mally open the door." Simon banged on the door.

"NO!"

"Malcolm Hoban Washburn open this door right now young man."

"NO! You didn't ask nicely."

"Mally please open the door."

"No." Mally started going through Simon's cabinets.

"Mally don't touch that!" Simon tired to open the door again. "How did you lock it from the inside?"

"I know the code."  
"There's a code?"

"Yeah, there's a code for all the doors on Serenity." Mally said as he smiled at Simon.

Serenity started to shake. "Oh God no." Simon made a mad dash to the bridge. "Oh God no."

Amina was at Serenity's helm preparing her for take off. "Amina what are you doing?" Simon tired to say in his most calm and collective voice.

"I want my Momma." She clicked on another switch.

"She'll be back."

"I want her now." She pulled back the steering wheel.

Simon felt Serenity lurch.

"Amina please. Just stop."

"You yelled at us." She said in the most pathetic voice.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't of yelled. But, you aren't allowed to fly the ship are you?" Simon stepped closer to her.

"I ain't taking her out of atmo. I just wantta find Momma." Amina said matter of factly.

Simon snatched her up from the pilot's seat. Serenity shook hard. Simon sat in the pilot's chair. "How do I make her stop doing that?" Simon started flipping switches and pushing buttons.

"I wouldn't push that if I was you."

"Push what?" Simon pushed a button and Serenity lurched forward. "Oh God. Oh dear God. Make it stop." Simon got out of the chair and put Amina back in. "Make it stop."

Serenity was shaking badly.

Amina flipped three switches and Serenity stopped moving.

Simon grabbed her hand. "Come on, I have to check on your brother."

Simon returned to the infirmary with Amina in tow. He looked threw the window and Mally had fallen asleep on the floor.

"Can you open the door?"

Amina punched in a few numbers on the key pad to unlock the door. "It's 12-23-46 Kaylee's Poppa's birthday."

Simon looked confused. "Oh." He opened the door and entered the mess which was his infirmary. All of his instruments where thrown about, his cotton balls where scattered all over the counter. Simon buried his hands in his face.

"Uh Doc, what happened here?" Wash entered the infirmary behind Simon and Amina.

"Poppa!" Amina squealed.

"Mally locked himself inside the infirmary." Simon answered.

"The code is 12-23-46 Kaylee's father's birthday."

"So, I am told."

"Doctor, is there a particular reason why my son is naked as the day he was born dripping wet and covered in oatmeal in the cargo bay?"

Gabe who now has a towel wrapped around him came from behind Wash. "I got all pruney." He showed Simon is white wrinkled hands.

"And did you move Serenity cause she's all turned about?"

Simon just backed up slowly and out of the infirmary. "I'm never having children." He muttered to himself. "Never."

Simon plopped down on the sofa in the commons room. It had taken him four hours to re organized and sterilized the infirmary.

"Oh, honey you look awful." Kaylee said came into the commons room along with River. She sat beside Simon. "Tough day."

Simon just turned and looked at Kaylee. "They're little monsters…I thought…I'm never having children."

River just shook her head. "Number 6, 12, and 1 on the list. You should of followed the list."

Simon gave River the same look that he gave Kaylee.

Wash, Zoë and the children joined them in the commons room.

"Doctor, the kids have something to tell you." Zoë pushed them forward.

"Sorry, Dr. Simon." They said in unison.

Amina handed him a card. "We all signed it."

Simon looked at his "Sorry" card. It was a rather nice card. "Thank you."

"Give Simon, River, and Kaylee snuggles and tell the good night." Wash told the children. They all complied and gave them snuggles and headed off to bed with their mother.

Wash pulled a wrinkled piece of paper out of his pocket. "I found this in the bottom of your oatmeal water." He handed him the list. "I told you to read the list, breath the list, live the list not to give it a bath in oatmeal water."

Simon took the wrinkled paper and starred at it hard.

"So that's why there is oatmeal in the engine room." Kaylee said.

Wash took a deep breath. "I'll help you clean it out."

Kaylee and Wash left leaving River and Simon alone.

River got up. "You're such a boob." She pranced away towards her room.

Simon was still sitting on the couch trying to read the water logged list. "I'm never having children." He mumbled to himself.

**Chinese Translations**

gongzhu princess

xiexie thank you

Wo ai ni. Gan hui. I love you. Hurry back

Mashang right away

xiaotianshi little angels

ben mao hou pigu stupid hairy monkey butt

yang yiwan goat testicles

Zhizhi dajia anjing stop it, quiet all of you


	7. Alliance: Ensing Kelly

Somehow the triplets had all manage to squeeze into the co pilot's chair together. Wash stood hovering over top of them. They where all looking at the navigation system.

"Okay." Wash punched a few buttons. "We have to get cargo to Beaumonde and we're parked on Erza."

"I know…Poppa…" Mally squealed.

"Wait, son I'm not finished…Now there is fed stations parked right out in sectors 5 and 9. Also we're low on fuel cells. Now, Mally what would be the quickest, safest, most efficient route to take?"

Mally slumped down, Gabe and Amina sat there thinking a moment. "Can we re-fuel at Persephone?" Amina asked.

"Nope, we don't have the coin. We got to make what fuel cells we got to make 'em stretch."

Wash could see the wheels turning in his children's heads as they thought of the right path to take. Wash loved his "Poppa-triplets" time. This was the time he could teach them everything his father taught him and more. Wash also used this time to teach his children how to survive if anything should happen to him or Zoë. He took comfort knowing that his children could fly Serenity safely if need be. At least he knew they could fly her better than Mal could any day.

"Here." Gabe plotted out some coordinates on the screen. "This way we avoid the purple bellies and still have enough to find a re-fueling station."

Wash checked Gabe's coordinates. The route that Gabe had mapped out wasn't the one that Wash had thought of, Gabe's route would actually be quicker and burn less fuel cells. "My huihuang." Wash kissed Gabe on the forehead. Gabe beamed. "Ok my other equally talented genius children; Mally this one is for you. We got paid 750 platinum for a job. Badger's cut is 20; you have to give everyone 10 of what's left. How much coin would go into the ships savings?"

Mally pulled out his fingers and started counting in his head. "Take your time son. Now Poppa's princess this one is for you. What would Poppa do if the left thruster was out and we had to do a lazy Ahmed?" Amina was about to answer when Wash stopped her. "And, Kaylee wasn't in the engine room."

"But, Poppa that ain't fair. Kaylee's always in the engine room. Why can't I get an easy one like Mally?"

"Just what if Kaylee was all tied up and couldn't get to the engine room."

"Why would Kaylee be tied up?"

"Because, she didn't eat all her vegetables."

"That ain't a real reason to tie someone up Poppa."

"It's a hypothetical question, Amina."

"What's a hypo-the-kettel question?"

"It's a pretend question." Gabe answered.

"Right, Gabe."

"Oh."

The proximately alarm went off. Wash quickly returned to his chair to make sure they weren't heading for a moon.

"This is Alliance Cruiser Athena, Firefly transport ship, you are ordered to  
release control of your helm." A voice over the comm said.

"Poppa?" Gabe asked. "What's going on?"

"Mal, I need you on the bridge xianzai!

Mal quickly entered the bridge. "Wash what are you playing at up here?" Mal stared through Serenity's front window. "zi dangfu."

The triplets giggled. Mal turned and looked at them. Before Mal could hit the comm to get Zoë on the bridge she stood over she children. "Sir?"

"Zoë get the suits prep the doc and his sis are going on a little walk. Wash bring me up."

Wash pulled up the video screen for Mal. "This is Captain Reynolds. What seems to be the problem today?" He gave them his biggest false smile.

"Please release the control of your helm and be prepared for docking so this can be handled in a more official manner Captain."

"We're on a tight schedule; I just want to know what this is all about."

"We are doing a routine spot check Captain. Please prepare your ship for docking."

Mal looked at the triplets who where sitting on the edge of their seats. "Wash go ahead."

Mal bent down so that he was eye level to the children. "Ok, in less than five minutes Serenity is gonna be crawling with Feds. Now, you know what to do when the feds come around?"

"Don't say nuttin."

"And what else."

"We ain't ever heard of Dr. Simon or River."

"Don't let'em get the best of us."

Mal kissed each on them on the head. "That's my godchildren." He took Mally and Gabe by the hand and Wash carried Amina down to the cargo bay.

They were joined by the rest of the crew. "Cap'n what do you think they want?" Kaylee asked.

"I wish I could tell you." Mal held the boys' hand a little tighter.

Zoë opened the airlock doors and 5 Alliance officers boarded Serenity.

"Which one of you is Captain Reynolds?" Commander Evens asked.

"I am. Can I ask you why you stopped my ship?" Mal stepped forward. Zoë took the boys from him.

"Captain you and your ship took off from Boros rather quickly."

"Is it against the law to be in a hurry?"

The commander walked slowly around the crew eyeing each one of them. "No Captain Reynolds. It's not a crime. But, it is a crime however to transfer stolen goods."

Mal tried to look shocked. "Stolen goods? You must have the wrong ship. We're a family run operation."

The commander didn't look impressed. "Is this all your people?"

"Yes."

He stalked around the crew some more. He stopped when he came to PuppyBoy who was lying by the Shepherd's foot. "Captain Reynolds are you aware that you do not have the mandatory registration markings on the bow?"

Mal looked shocked. "Really? Well, we haven't been through a check point in a while."

PuppyBoy sniffed the commander's boot, then growled at him. "Captain do you have paper's for this animal?"

"What for the dog?"

"Yes, captain. All animals are to have papers showing their up to date vaccinations if they are traveling interplanetary." Commander Evens stepped back form PuppyBoy. "Also do you have your ship documents?"

Zoë handed him the papers and grabbed PuppyBoy by the collar. Mally took control of his dog.

"Your papers are out of date also." Commander Evens walked back over to Mal. "Do you want to know what I think this operation is Captain Reynolds?"

"What?"

"I think that this ship is for smuggling."

"Like I said before, this is a family run operation."

"There was a flag on your ship a few years back. Said that Firefly-class,  
believed to be carrying two fugitives, a brother and a sister."

"Really? My gosh."

"Yes really Captain. You wouldn't know anything about the whereabouts of those fugitives?"

"Commander I would not know." Mal smiled.

"I don't like your attitude Captain Reynolds. We will continue our discussion in a more official capacity. Search the ship; see what else we can find."

Two of the Alliance officers walked more into the ship. Commander Evens bent down to talk to Mally and Gabe. "How would you two like to see the inside of a real ship? An Alliance cruiser?"

Both boys looked up to their mother. "Do we have to?" Gabe whined.

"I don't wanna see that piece of fei hou qiu."

The commander looked shocked. "Well what colorful vocabulary these children seemed to have." He waved for an ensign to come over. "Ensign Kelly take the children to interrogation room 5."

Zoë stepped protectively in front of the boys. "They have nothing to do with this." She said coldly.

"If we find anything illegal on this ship not only can you loose this…ship you can loose your children. So I suggest that you cooperate or you will be bound for interfering with an official investigation."

Zoë didn't back down. "Honey…" Wash shifted Amina in his arms. "Let's think about this. We don't have anything to hide. It won't do them any good if their mother is in prison."

"Momma?" Amina jumped from Wash's arms to Zoë. "We'll be ok. Don't want you to get in trouble." Zoë smiled. Amina slid down to the ground.

"Smart kid." Commander Evens replied. "Ensign, the children."

"It's ok kids go with the nice Alliance ensign. We've be right here waiting ok." Wash reassured his kids.

"Leave the animal."

The children reluctantly followed the ensign into the cruiser.

As they where walking through the hallways of the Alliance ship all three of them where making mental notes of their surroundings.

"Poppa and Momma didn't give them the list." Gabe noted.

Mally and Amina both smiled devilishly.

They reached the interrogation room. There was only two chairs the boys fought over one and Amina sat in the other. Ensign Kelly stood guard at the door. Mally pushed Gabe out the chair. He fell to the floor hard.

"Owe, I'm telling Momma on you." He protested as the joined his sister in the other chair.

"I don't care." Mally stuck out his tongue.

Ensign Kelly laughed to himself at the children's argument.

"Mally stop being mean." Amina protested.

"Shut up." Mally retorted.

Amina jumped out of her chair and ran over and punched Mally in the arm. "ben shuiniu tunbu."

Mally rubbed his arm. "I'm telling."

"Tattle tale."

"Am not."

"Are too. Tattle tale. Tattle tale. Tattle tale. Tattle tale." Amina had her hands on her hips swaying back and forth.

"Shut up, Amina."

"You shut up."

"No you shut up."

"Ni zuiba guan." Ensign Kelly grabbed both Amina and Mally's arms and sat them down with Gabe. "I don't want another sound out of any of you or I'll throw you in the dungeon. Dong ma?" Ensign Kelly sat in the other chair across from the triplets.

They were quiet for a short while. "There's no dungeon on a cruiser." Gabe stated. "You're just trying to scare us."

Ensign Kelly smiled a bit. "Maybe, but I still don't want any talking."

"How come you got to wear that hat?" Amina asked.

"It's part of my uniform. And what part of quiet didn't you understand? No talking."

They all just ignored him. "I'm tired of sitting." Mally got up and walked around.

"Once Momma and Poppa took us to a carnival when we was on Persephone."

"So." Ensign Kelly was getting uneasy. "Sit back down please."

They ignored him. Amina was picking at his clothes.

Gabe continued his story. "There was this man and he had an accordion and a monkey. And if you gave him two bits. He would play a song and the monkey would dance."

Ensign Kelly was growing impatient. "So what's the point of your story?"

Gabe started laughing, "The monkey had a hat just like yours."

Ensign Kelly smirked. "Ha ha very funny." He noticed that Mally was standing in the corner. "What are you doing?"

"Nothing." Mally replied sweetly.

"Yes you are." Ensign Kelly tired to get up but his hand was handcuff to the back of the chair. "What the…"

Amina started laughing. Ensign Kelly was not amused. "That's not funny. Now give me the key."

"Now give me the key." Amina repeated.

"Stop your childless games and give me the key."

"Stop your childless games and give me the key."

Exacerbated Ensign Kelly yelled. "Give me the gorramn key little girl or I'll give you a thrashing."

Amina stepped back and started to cry.

"I'm sorry. Just give me the key back." He moved a bit dragging the chair along with him.

"What kind of gun is this?" Mally asked.

Ensign Kelly checked his belt, his hand gun was missing. "Now put that down. That's not for little boys."

Mally rolled his eyes. He took the clip out and placed each bullet on the table. "Nine rounds, that's all you got?"

Gabe laughed. "That's a girlie gun."

Mally continued dismembering the Ensign's gun. He got up, dragging the chair along with him and snatched the gun away from Mally.

"It's not nice to snatch."

"Little boys shouldn't play with guns." Ensign Kelly struggled to get the gun back together with one hand cuffed to his chair.

"That ain't a gun." Mally noted. "Vera's a gun. I got toys bigger than that."

"What's a Vera?"

The boys just looked at each other. "Vera a Callahan full-bore auto lock. She has a customized trigger, double-cartridge thorough gauge." Mally told him.

"That's a gun." Gabe added in.

Ensign Kelly looked around the room. "Where's the girl?"

Both boys shrugged their shoulders.

"Dajia pihua diyu."

The boys laughed. Right then Commander Evans stepped into the room with Amina. "Ensign Kelly language. That is no way for an Alliance officer to speak in front of children."

Ensign Kelly straighten up. "Sorry, sir."

"And why was this little girl wondering around the ship crying unescorted?"

"Sir, I didn't realize that she was missing."

"Why are you handcuff to that chair?"

"Sir, I can explain…."  
"Is that your weapon lying on the table? Ensign Kelly what were you doing with these children. I wanted you to watch them. This is very disappointing. If you can not handle a small task as watching children then we are going to have to discuss your status."

"Mr. Alliance Sir." Amina said in between tears. "I want my Momma." She gave him her biggest puppy dog face.

"Come along children." The children followed Commander Evans out.

"Sir!" Ensign Kelly yelled out.

Commander Evans turned around. "Yes."

"You wouldn't happen to have a handcuff key?"

Commander Evans gave him his key. "Go to my office and wait for me their."

"Yes sir."

"Children, time to take you home."

The children hung on to their parents. "Momma the mean Alliance man yelled at Amina and made her cry. And he used naughty words." Gabe told his mother.

Commander Evans stood in front of Serenity's crew. "I'm sorry for the behavior of my subordinate. He will be reprimanded accordingly."

"And he should be. Letting this girl wonder about on your ship. She could of gotten hurt. And using fowl language in front of these little angels. I am shocked and dismayed. I was lead to believe that the Alliance was a clean and virtuous cause and not in the business of debauching young innocent angels such as these. " Mal told the Commander.

"I apologize for any inconvenience this may have cause you." Commander Evans handed Mal some papers.

Mal looked at them. "What are these?"

"Your fines Captain. You have ninety days to pay them." Commander Evans left Serenity.

Mal looked at his god children and started to laugh. "Little angel's these three. Well Zoë why don't you go get the Doctor and River. Wash we got a schedule to keep. Rest of you got work to be done." Mal handed Amina his fines. "Here you go princess some papers for you to draw on."

"Thank you Goddaddy." Amina skipped away in the direction of her mother.

Mal noticed something budging in Mally's pocket. He held out his hand. Mally handed him a gun. Mally just smiled. "It's the Commander."

Mal puffed out his chest. "That's my boy. Mally, Gabe I think you two deserve a treat."

The three of them headed off towards the kitchen.

Chinese translations:

huihuang brilliant boy

xianzai now

zi dangfu son of a btch

fei hou qiu flying monkey balls

ben shuiniu tunbu stupid buffalo butt

Ni zuiba guan shut your mouths

Dajia pihua diyu shit all to hell


	8. Kaylee

Simon walked slowly to the engine room. He peek his head in. He secretly wished that she wouldn't be in there, but it was Kaylee she spent more time in the engine room than any other room in Serenity. He took a deep breath and knocked softly.

Kaylee was underneath the engine fiddling with some parts. Amina was right next to her helping, Gabe was in the hammock reading a book, and Mally sat by her tool box looking bored. Mally shook his head in disappointed when he saw Simon.

Kaylee pulled herself from under the engine. She saw it was Simon rolled her eyes and went back underneath the engine. "Mally can you please tell Dr. Tam that I'm not talking to him." She said flatly.

Mally looked at her. "Kaylee he's right here."

Kaylee came from under the engine. "Malcolm Hoban Washborne that's not what I asked. Please tell the doctor that I'm not talking to him…"

"Kaylee please, I'm sorry." Simon pleaded.

"Mally, tell the doctor that I'm not interested in his apologies."

Mally rolled his eyes. "She's not interested in your apologies."

Kaylee went back under the engine. "Mally hand me the pliers please." He did what he was told.

"Kaylee talk to me. This is childish. I didn't mean…"

"I'm sorry I don't understand jack ass. Mally tell Dr. Tam that I don't speak jack ass."

Gabe and Mally both laughed. "Kaylee said she don't speak jackass."

Simon took another breath. "Kaylee this is ridiculous. Please just talk to me and not through a 5 year old."

"Wei! I'm 6, jackass." Mally protested.

"Mally language." Kaylee said. She got up and stood in front of Simon. "What kind of person says you love someone then, take it back? Who does that? Come on, you three your mom should be back by now."

Amina and Mally followed Kaylee out. Gabe lagged behind. He looked up to Simon. "You should try poetry. When ever Momma is mad at Poppa he recites poetry. It always works. They get all mushy. It's gross."

* * *

Kaylee and the triplets were greeted by the others as they walked aboard Serenity.

"You got the engine fixed?" Mal asked as he shut the airlock doors.

"I can't fix it."

"What do you mean you can't fix it. You're the mechanic that's your job to fix it."

Kaylee huffed and put her hands on her hips. "I'm sorry. When something's broke it can't be fixed. You have to buy a new one. I've told you that we needed to replace the daxiang lashi yuben de pianduan press regulator three times."

Mal looked hurt. "What crawled up your overalls?"

"Dr. Simon told Kaylee that he loved her then he took it back." Mally chimed in.

Zoë smiled. "Come on, let's go see your father." Zoë ushered the kids upstairs.

Mal wrapped his arm around Kaylee. "Do you want me to beat him up?"

Kaylee sighed. "No. Sorry Cap'n but Simon makes me so mad sometimes."

Mal kissed her on the top of her head. He pulled out a brown bag from his pocket. "You're one lucky mechanic today." He smiled big. "We got paid." He gave her some money. "This is for parts. I don't want you coming back with no furry flippery, dong ma."

Kaylee smiled brightly. "Xiexie."

Kaylee ran up to the bridge. The triplets were in their "time out" spots. "Cap'n gave me some coin, to get some parts you need anything up here?" She asked Wash.

He thought a moment. "Nope. It's all good here." Wash noticed that Amina was scooting towards the door. "Bīng dòng."

Amina froze and looked up at her father. She gave him a pitiful puppy dog face. "That might work on your mother, but not me." He said non-convincingly, he turned and smiled at Zoë.

"Hey can I take the triplets with me? I promised them that I would spend the day with them." Kaylee asked feeling sorry for the triplets.

Zoë rubbed her temples. She could use a break. She looked at Wash. "It's up to him."

Wash leaned back in his chair and stroked his chin. "I don't know Kaylee…"

"Please Poppa…we'll be real good for Kaylee. Promise." Amina pleaded. She gave him another puppy eye look.

"If you be real good for Kaylee…"

Zoë looked at Wash. "What…I have a limit on puppy eye looks before I crack." He got up and picked Amina up. "Look at this face. How could I say no to this adorable face." He gave her a big kiss on the cheek and put her down. "Besides sweetie you had a hard day of robbing, you need a break and if Kaylee willin' to watch the kids for a while, who are we to stand in her way?" He wrapped his arms around Zoë.

She still looked unconvinced. "Fine."

The kids cheered. Simon walked on the bridge to see what all the commotion was about.

"What's all the cheering about?" He asked.

"We get to go with Kaylee." Mally screamed as he ran past Simon.

"Really that sounds fun. Where are you taking them?" Simon looked at Kaylee hoping that she would answer him.

Kaylee just ignored him. "Come on Amina and Gabe. We gotta make a list of all the things we need. Wash, Zoë enjoy your break." Kaylee walked by Simon looked him in the eye, huff and continued walking.

Wash and Zoë watched the interchange in amusement. "Soooo, Doc is it true that you said you loved Kaylee, then took it back? Please tell me you didn't do that." Wash said laughing.

Simon looked embarrass. "It didn't happen that way…I mean….yes I said it….then, I took it back…I didn't…."

Zoë shook her head. "I'm going to make sure Kaylee gonna be alright." She stopped when she got to Simon. "Just be prepared to grovel."

Simon watched her leave. "Gabe tells me that you're a poet."

* * *

Zoë joined Kaylee and the kids in the kitchen. Kaylee was just finishing up her list of parts she wanted. Amina and Gabe were fighting over a pencil and Mally was standing on a chair reaching for one of the kitchen knives. "Malcolm." Zoë said calmly. Mally turned around and gave her a sly smile. Then she turned her attention to her other two children. "Sit." Zoë looked at Kaylee who was oblivious to what was going on. "Kaylee you sure you want to take the triplets out. They can be a handful."

Kaylee looked up from her paper. "You don't think I can handle the triplets?" Kaylee sounded offended.

"No, it's just that you never took them planetside by yourself before. And…"

"And what Zoë?" Kaylee snapped. "I've watched them by myself since they was babes in a basket. Are you gonna take back what you said too? Is that the theme for the day? Say one thing to Kaylee, get her hopes all up, then take it back day?"

Zoë calmly smiled. "All I'm saying Kaylee is…you know you're right. I'm sure you can handle the kids."

Wash walked into the kitchen, he handed Kaylee a slip of paper. Kaylee looked at it. "You're giving me the list? Are you seriously giving me the list? I helped you write the list. I can't believe he's giving me the list. Come on you three." She handed Wash the list back. "I can handle this. Don't worry I'll bring your kids back in one piece." Kaylee and the kids walked out the kitchen.

Wash and Zoë both looked at each other. "It's not so much the kids I'm worried about coming back in one piece." Wash said.

* * *

Kaylee strolled aimlessly down the road. The kids had run far ahead of her, but she didn't notice. She was trying to replay the conversation with Simon in her head. "He did say he loved me right? Oh qinai de tian pusa he ta de wu zhi change shanyang , what if he didn't say he loved me? What if he said he loved soup?" She stopped in her tracks. "Oh God! He didn't say he loved me! Didn't he?"

Kaylee's inner monologue was disrupted by Mally. "Kaylee I'm starving." He whined.

"You're not starving."

"Yes I am. And my feet hurt. I'm tired of walking. Can you give me a piggy back ride?"

Kaylee sighed. "Sure." She bent down. "Hop on." Mally climbed on her back.

"Hey no fair! How come Mally gets to ride on your back." Gabe said.

"You can ride after him." Kaylee suggested.

"Whattda bout me?" Amina asked.

"You can go after your brothers."

"How come I gotta go after them? They always get to go first." Amina huff.

"Look all three of you will get a chance. Ok. Let's keep walking."

Finally after switching each kid twice they reached the junkyard. The kids ran off in three different directions. "Don't…" Kaylee yelled but it was too late they were gone. Kaylee just sighed and started shopping for parts.

"Kaywinnit Lee?" A man's voice said.

Kaylee turned around. "Finny? Oh my God Finny I can't believe it." Kaylee ran over and hugged a very handsome looking young man. "What are you doing here?"

Fin smiled brightly. "This is my place."

Kaylee punched him in the arm. "Get out of here."

"Yep…gosh how long has it been..."

Amina came up to Kaylee limping. "I scraped my knee." Amina hobbled on her good leg and held up her bad knee to Kaylee.

"Obviously it's been longer than I thought." Fin said.

Amina scrunched up her face to Fin. "Oh, she's not mine. She's the pilot." Kaylee corrected him.

"Oh." Fin smiled again. Both of them were smiling at each other. Amina looked at the both of them.

"Kayleeeee, my knee." Amina pointed to her bloody knee.

"I have some bandages in the back wait here." Fin said.

"Thanks Fin."

Fin walked away. Kaylee stood there gazing at him as he left.

"Who's that?"

"Mmmm…what's that sweetie?"

"Who's that guy?" Amina pointed in the direction that Fin walked.

Kaylee looked down at the girl. "Oh right. Fin. Fin and I grew up together."

Amina smiled. "Was he your boyfriennddd?"

"No. We were just friends."

Amina laughed. "Kaylee and Fin sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G…."

Fin was coming back with the bandages. "Quiet." Kaylee smiled again. "Fin thank you so much."

"Any friend of yours is a friend of mine." Fin picked up Amina and carried her inside the store and sat her on the counter.

"So Kaywinnit Lee, besides watching little girls what have you been up to?" Fin asked. He took a cloth and wiped Amina's knee.

"Well, I'm the mechanic on a firefly, by the name of Serenity." Kaylee said proudly.

Fin took the bandage and wrapped it around Amina's knee. "Wow. A firefly. I always knew that you would do great things." He smiled.

"Yeah, you're not doing too shabby either. How'd you end up here?"

"It's my uncle's place. He needed some help so I came out here. Wasn't much work back home, ya know."

Kaylee nodded her head. "Yeah, I send money back home when ever I can."

Fin smiled. "You always had a big heart Kaywinnit Lee."

Kaylee smiled. "It's Kaylee now."

Fin laughed. "I like it. Kaylee." They paused a moment and just looked at each other. "So.." Fin said.

"So." Kaylee replied.

Fin and Kaylee talked, laughed, for what seemed like hours. Amina stretched out on the counter and fell asleep.

"I should get these." She held up the bag of parts. "I got to get them back to Serenity soon."

Fin started ringing up Kaylee's things. "Them?"

"What?"

"You said them. I only see shuìměirén here." Fin noted.

Kaylee looked around the shop. "Lao tyen yeh ai ji gaowan …. Amina wake up…" Kaylee shook Amina.

"Huh…where's Momma?" Amina sat up and rubbed her eyes. "I wanna go home."

"In a minute, but where are your brothers?"

Amina shrugged her shoulders. "I dunno."

"Brothers?" Fin asked.

"They're gonna kill me. Wash isn't prone to violence, but he's gonna kill me. Oh God Zoë." Kaylee looked at Fin. "Zoë is a bonafide killing machine. She's gonna kill me. I would kill me too if someone lost my children." Kaylee started to panic.

"Wait…Kaylee calm down. Shuìměirén has brothers?" Fin grabbed Kaylee's shoulders and made her look at him. "I'm sure they're playing some where in the junk yard. What's their names."

"Mally and Gabe."

"Ok. Why don't you wait here and I'll go look for them ok. How far can a couple of kids get?" Fin smiled.

Kaylee looked at Amina who had fallen back asleep. "Great."

Kaylee paced back and forth in the shop. She debated wither or not to us the com unit to tell Wash and Zoë that she had lost the boys. But, if Fin found them then what was the harm. "How far could a couple of 6 years go, right?" Then Kaylee remembered number one on the list. "Never let them out of your sight." She started biting her nails.

"You shouldn't bite your nails." Fin said as he walked back into the shop.

"Where are the boys? Tell me you found them. Oh God. You didn't find them. Or you did and they are lying in ditch somewhere. They're dead aren't they? Oh God. I killed Wash and Zoë's kids…."

"Kaylee calm down. I'm sure the boys are fine."

"Where are they Fin?"

Fin shrugged his shoulders. "Well I can tell you where they aren't."

Kaylee started biting her nails again. "I lost them." Kaylee slumped down on the floor. "I can't believe I lost them."

Fin bent down to Kaylee. "I'm sure they're fine. There's a carnival today. I sure they must of wondered to the carnival."

Kaylee perked up. "You think?"

"Yes, I think. Now come on. We should find them."

Kaylee's face glowed. "You're gonna help me?"

Fin extended his hand to help her up. "Yeah, it's partly my fault. If I hadn't distracted you…"

Kaylee kissed Fin on the cheek. "Thanks."

"I'll carry shuìměirén." Fin grabbed Amina and they headed to the carnival.

By the time they got to the carnival Amina had woken up and was bright eyed and bushy tailed.

Amina pointed to the Ferris wheel. "Kaylee can I ride the Ferris wheel?"

"We got to find your brothers." Kaylee grabbed her hand. "I'll go right and Fin you go left."

Fin started to walk away when Kaylee called them. "Wait!"

He turned around, "Yeah."

"Giganotosaurus."

"Giga-what?"

"Giganotosaurus, it's a safe word. They won't go with you unless you use the safe word."

"Gigglenotrus?"

"No, it's jee guh NOH toh sawr uhs it was the largest meat-eating dinosaurs that ever lived."

Fin looked at Kaylee funny. "They're Dad had a thing for dinosaurs."

"So it's Giganotosaurus?"

"Yep you got it." Kaylee turned to leave. "Fin."

"You know, us standing here won't help us find the boys?"

"Thanks again."

"No problem, Kaywinnit Lee… I mean Kaylee." Fin left in one direction and Kaylee in another.

"Kaylee?" Amina called.

"Yes."

"Who's Kaywinnit Lee?"

"It's me."

"Oh."

"Ok. Help me find your brothers."

"Do I have to?"

"Come on." Kaylee dragged Amina forward. Kaylee noticed a huge pillar of smoke. "This way. Where's there fire, there's Mally." They headed toward the smoke pillar. But, when they got there it was large bon fire. Kaylee sighed. She asked a few people if they had seen the boys but no luck.

Then a herd full of sheep ran past them. Several men where chasing after them. "The boys." Kaylee said to herself. She dragged Amina in the direction of where the sheep were coming from. She found a shepherd trying to mend a broken fence.

"Seems you lost your flock."

The man looked at her. "Seems like it."

"What happened?"

The man stopped and looked at her. "Fence broke. I told Rudy to tie the corners tight, but does that pig head boy ever listen."

Kaylee sighed in relief. "Oh. Well, good luck." She said all too chipper.

"Look Kaylee!" Amina pointed to a shuttle that was having a hard time taking off. "Betcha that's Gabe. He can't ever handle the up thrust. That's why he's always shaking."

Kaylee's eyes grew bigger. "Come on." She dragged Amina towards the shuttle. To Kaylee's relief the shuttle was a ride and Mally and Gabe didn't highjack a shuttle. The barker for the ride approached them.

"Hey pretty lady, you and the girl wanna ride. It's like ridin' a real shuttle. Just 5 bits."

Amina scrunched up her face. "You only got one coupling' and you got the port thrust facing the wrong way." She said shaking her head.

The man looked at her funny. "The port whattda?"

Amina sighed. "The port thrust, ya know the thing that makes the shuttle go forward. Ya got one facing the front and the other the back. If you we're really gonna fire them up, your shuttle just gonna spin around in a circle."

Kaylee proudly beamed. The man still looked confused.

"Amina we gotta go." She pulled her away from the befuddled barker.

Kaylee and Amina walked around for a few more minutes when spotted Fin.

"Fin!" Kaylee waved to try to get his attention but he was focus on something else, so was a large crowd of people.

"Whattcha looking at?" Kaylee asked Fin.

"They're juggling geese. Little baby goslings." He pointed forward.

Kaylee looked to where he was pointing and sure enough there was Gabe and another man juggling geese.

Amina squealed. "Gabe!" She ran forward to the front of the crowd.

"Would you look at that." Fin said in amazement. He tilted his head to the side. "How you figure they're doing that?"

Kaylee was stunned. "I have no idea."

Fin looked down and noticed that Amina wasn't at Kaylee's side. "Umm I think you lost shuìměirén."

"Shit." Kaylee made her way to the front of the crowd. Where Gabe and the man where finishing up their tricks.

"Gabriel Alleyne Washburn what in the name of all that is holy are you doing?

Gabe jumped down from the stage. "I juggled geese. Didya see!"

Mally chimed in. "Gabe's gonna be a magician. He's real good."

The magician stepped off the stage to talk to Kaylee and the children. "You son has a talent. Most boys aren't as quick as young Gabriel here."

Kaylee blushed. "Oh he ain't my son. I'm just babysitting."

The magician smiled. "I thought you where too young." He picked a strawberry from behind Kaylee's ear. "For you. A sweet for a sweet."

"Thank you."

"Ya wanna know how he did that?" Gabe asked. "He…"

"Shhh! Young Gabriel remember the first rule about being a magician."

"Never tell your secrets."

"Right."

"Kaylee…where in the verse are you….I sent you to get parts 5 hours ago…" Mal's voice cracked through the com.

She pulled the com out of her pocket. "Sorry Cap'n got distracted. We're on our way."

"Better be." Mal retorted.

"Come on you three we got to get home."

"Bye Sir Walter." Gabe and Mally waved.

"Wait, before you go. I must give Gabriel something."

"Thanks, but we really should be going."

"It will take only a moment." Sir Walter ran to the back of the stage and came back with a white rabbit in a cage. "Every young magician must have a white rabbit."

Gabe's eyes grew big. "For me?"

"Yes, for you to practice your trade. You have a gift." Sir Walter bowed. "Till we meet again Young Gabriel Washburn."

"Thank you. Sir Walter, but we really should be going now. Mally, Gabe say good bye."

"Bye." The boys said in unison.

"Kaylee?" Mally asked.

"Yeah."

"Where's Amina?"

Kaylee looked around. "Gorrammit!"

Kaylee grabbed both of the boys' hands. "Great, just great, first I loose the boys…now I loose Amina. Best babysitter in the verse Kaylee. Shiny."

Kaylee and the boys started to search for Amina. She went back to the shuttle ride, but Amina wasn't there. Then they heard a loud explosion.

"Crap!"

The boys looked at each other and laughed. "This ain't funny. You two aren't funny."

The trio went to the source of the explosion and sure enough there was Amina in the mist of everything looking as innocent as apple pie.

A man ran up to Amina. "You ok, little girl? Teng get over here I think she's hurt."

Amina saw Kaylee and ran to her. "Kayleeee. I didn't do it. Honest I didn't." She said crying.

Teng came over. "It's just a flash bomb Dunny." Teng examined the device. "Looks homemade."

Kaylee looked at Amina. "What?" Amina said sweetly.

"Miss you might want to get the children away from here. There's a lot of smoke." Dunny said. "Are you sure you're ok?" He asked Amina.

"Yes." She replied sweetly.

"Kaylee on your way means that you are actually leaving and heading towards your destination. Not lollygagging along." Mal's voice came through the com again.

"Coming, Sir." Kaylee grabbed Amina and Mally's hand. "Gabe in front where I can see you. Walk you three."

* * *

Kaylee and the triplets returned to Serenity in one piece. Mal and Janye were sitting on the ramp waiting.

"Kaylee what is that?" Mal pointed to the rabbit in the cage. "And where's my parts. I don't think Serenity runs on fluffy bunnies."

Jayne looked greedily at the rabbit. "Looks like dinner to me."

Mal and Kaylee both looked at Jayne. "What? Well, they better keep that rabbit away fore I make it stew." Jayne returned inside of the ship.

"Sorry, Cap'n I must of forgot the parts."

"Goddaddy. Say hi to BunnyBoy." Gabe held up the cage.

"Shiny…why don't you go and show your Momma."

"Mally, PuppyBoy left you a present in the commons room. Why don't you go and see to that."

"Ewe gross. I hate PuppyBoy's presents."

"Well, son so does everyone else. Git to it fore your Momma sees."

Mally headed off to the commons room.

"Goddaddy I hurt my knee." Amina pointed to her injured knee. "Sing the booboo song for me? Kaylee didn't do it."

Mal feign shock. "Kaylee didn't sing the booboo song. Seems there's a lot of things Kaylee ain't doing today." Mal picked Amina up. "Come on princess…how does the song go again?"

"Goddaddy you know the words."

Mal and Amina walked away singing the booboo song. Kaylee stood there tired. Wash came down the stairs.

"Sorry, Wash."

"No, it's shiny. Gabe told me he juggled geese. That's my boy." Wash said proudly.

"Don't worry about the rabbit. I'll help Gabe with it. Promise." Kaylee crossed her heart.

Wash laughed. "If Jayne don't cook it first."

"Kaywinnit Lee." Fin called.

"Fin, you brought the parts." Kaylee ran and hugged him. "I thought I would have to go all the way back."

"It gave me an excuse to see you again. After I lost you at the carnival, I figured you found the boys and went back to your ship."

Kaylee blushed. "You didn't have to come all the way out here. You just could of waved."

"Yeah, I guess I could. But, then I wouldn't of gotten to see you again."

Wash cleared his throat.

Fin and Kaylee both looked at him. "I'm sorry where are my manners. Fin this is Wash. Wash this is Fin. Fin's an old friend of mine."

Wash looked strangely at Kaylee. "Any old friend of Kaylee's is a new friend of mine."

Zoë joined the group in the cargo bay. "Mal's throwin' a fit Kaylee about parts."

"Look honey an old friend of Kaylee's and a new friend of mine…Fin this is my wife Zoë."

Fin shook Zoë's hand. "I see where shuìměirén gets her looks."

"I wouldn't call my self beautiful. Ruggedly handsome maybe…or dashing exquisite…some might say magnificent even…" Wash smiled.

"Well I should get going."

"Ok."

"Ok."

Fin and Kaylee stood there looking at each other. "Ya know when someone says 'I should get going.' They usually ya know walk away." Noted Wash.

"Yeah. Nice to meet you both and your children." Fin turned to leave then did a about face. "Wave me sometime. Tell me how the Amazing Gabe is doing."

Kaylee's face turned three shades of red. "I will."

Kaylee stood there watching Fin walk away.

"You know people as much as I love watching handsome men walk away, fluffy bunnies, and singing songs I got a job to do. Kaylee seems you got your parts so why don't you go and put them in the engine so we can get off this rock. And Wash we can't get off this rock if you don't fly us. And Zoë…" Mal paused a moment.

Zoë arched her eyebrow and looked at Mal. "Yes sir."

Mal stood upright. "Zoë well, you know. Get to work everybody." Mal ordered.

Wash stood there quiet for a moment. "Wait. What did he mean by 'after you found the boys?' Did you loose the boys?"

Kaylee just smiled.

* * *

Translations (They may be a bit off…well more than a bit.)

daxiang lashi yuben de pianduan stupid piece of elephant shit

Xiexie Thanks

Bīng dòng Freeze

qinai de tian pusa he ta de wu zhi change shanyang sweet Buddha and his five singing goats

shuìměirén sleeping beauty

Lao tyen yeh ai ji gaowan Jesus loving chicken balls


	9. Jayne & Amina

Jayne held tight to Amina's hand. He had lost track of her three times already and he didn't want to make it a fourth. He couldn't believe that he lost to a six year old girl in poker. She had her father's eyes and her mother's poker face. Amina could play a mean hand of Texas hold 'em. He had lost his pay from the last job and he had to take her out for a day of fun. Jayne sighed at least he didn't have Mally and Gabe. Jayne got yanked from his thoughts by the little girl.

"Jayne look!" Amina pointed to a large stuffed pink dragon. "Can you win it for me?" Her eyes lit up and she gave him the biggest puppy dog eyes.

Those eyes was his Achilles' heel. "Sure, princess." They walked up to a bottle toss booth. "Which one do you want me to win for ya?"

"The large pink one."

The barker smiled. "Pretty little girl you got there."

Jayne wrinkled his face. "She ain't mine…how much?"

"Five dollars for three balls. You gotta knock down all the bottles to win a prize."

Jayne dug in his pocket and handed the man some paper. "Gimme three." Jayne looked at Amina. "After I win you this, we're even."

"Ok." She replied. Amina hopped up on the counter to watch Jayne.

The man handed him the balls. "Good luck, sir."

Jayne scuffed. "I don't need it." He threw the first ball and missed horrible. He rotated his arm a bit. "Just warming up."

"Uh huh." The man replied.

Jayne threw the other ball and again missed the tower of bottles. He smirked. "Must of worked out my arm too much." He stretched out his throwing arm and picked up the third ball. He smiled at Amina. "You wanted the pink one right?"

She nodded. "Yep."

Jayne threw the third ball and for a third time missed.

"OOhhh I'm sorry sir. Do you want to try again?"

Jayne dug in his pocket and handed the man another five. "Here."

The man handed him three balls. "Good luck sir."

"Yeah stow it." Jayne threw the first ball and missed. "Ruttin hands must be slippery." Jayne wiped his hands on his pants." He threw the seconded one. "Ezri san zhi jiao mao lu!"

The barker covered Amina's ears. "Sir, please there's a child."

Jayne looked at the man funny. "What?" He threw the third ball and missed again. "Ya mu qingren!" Jayne dug in his pocket again. "How many balls will this get me?"

The man counted the money. "Nine."

Jayne looked at the man. "Well, ya gonna give 'em to me or do I have to beat them out of you."

"No need for violence." The man handed Jayne nine more balls.

"I'm gonna have some left over, Mina you want to try and win some for ya Momma?"

Amina brightened up. "Shiny."

* * *

Another 18 balls later

"Mao xingxing de gaowan!" Jayne dug in his pockets once more. "I'm out of coin."

"Sir, look why don't I just give you the stuff animal." The man said nervously. "Your daughter is asleep."

Jayne grabbed the man by the shirt collar. "Look shuimu chunshi when I want your pity I'll beat it out of you, dong ma."

Amina woke up and rubbed her eyes. "Jayne I'm ready to go."

"I ain't won you, your dragon yet."

Amina yawned. "I don't want it anymore. I got one already…Kaylee won it for me yesterday when she took us out."

"Kaylee?"

"Yep. She got it the **first** try." Amina stressed the first part.

"Then why'd you asked for one?"

Amina hopped down from the counter. "I dunno. Can we go?"

Jayne grabbed her hand. "Yeah."

* * *

Translations:

Ezri san zhi jiao mao lu son of a three legged donkey

Ya mu qingren mother duck lover

Mao xingxing de gaowan hairy gorilla testicles

shuimu chunshi idiotic jellyfish


	10. Monty

Monty stiffened in his seat and clutched his pistol a bit tighter. He had gone to war, went up against Reavers, and even danced with the devil a time or two. But never in his life had he been up against such odds. He pulled out the crinkled piece of paper out his pocket telling him what to do in this sort of situation, but it seem pointless. They were just words on a paper, and he was a man of action. He thought about what other men would do in this situation, his father, his commanding officer Sag. Taggort, and his priest back when he was a boy all great men, strong men, disciplined. Monty was sure that they would have cracked under such pressure. He took a deep breath.

"Alright, alright, you can have another piece of cake, just stop cryin'." Monty got up from the table.

Amina quickly stop crying and a smile crept on her face. "Really?"

"Yeah, just don't go tellin' your Ma that I gave into ya ok?"

The girl nodded. "And Uncle Monty can I have it in my room?"

Monty handed the girl the plate, "Don't see why not. Just don't go makin' a mess, ya hear me."

His words fell on deaf ears Amina had already left. He realized that while Amina was throwing her tantrum the boys had ran off somewhere.

"Uh Mally? Gabe?" He called out but no one answered. He rounded the corner when he ran into one of 5 foot terrors.

"You scared me."

"Sorry." The boy said innocently smiling.

"Whatcha playin' at?"

"Nothing." He replied quickly.

"Gabe come on!" The other boy shouted as he rounded the corner and bumped into Monty.

"Slow down little guy." Monty said looking down. He noticed that the boy had something behind his back.

"Mally what you got there behind your back?"

"Nothing." Mally had responded just as his brother.

Monty took a saw from the boy. "I don't call a saw nothing, Mally. What did you have planned for this?" Monty stood firm hoping to intimate the young Washborne.

"It's for Gabe's act." Mally said matter of fact.

"Yeah I was gonna saw Mally in half. I saw a guy do it when we went to the carnival last week. Amina bet me a piece of cake that I couldn't do it."

"Ya can't go sawin' your brother in half no matter what your sister bets you." Monty told the boys.

"I don't mind it. He promised to put me back so it's ok." Mally replied.

"No it ain't ok." Monty threw the saw down and grabbed both boys by their collars. "I promised your folks I'd look after you three and gorramit I'm going to do it." He threw the boys into their room. "Now you three stay there until your Ma and Poppa come back."

"When will they come back?" Mally asked from the other side of the door.

"When they git here." He shouted back. He walked back to the front of the ship and sat on a box waiting for Zoë and Wash to come back when he heard pops. Monty grabbed for his gun. There was a flash of pink light, then blue and green.

He then saw Amina in the corner lighting fireworks. "Aren't they shiny?" The girl said as she lit another. One of the sparks hit a wooden crate and caught it on fire.

Amina pointed to the now on fire crate. "Cool."

Monty turned to see she was pointing at. "Gorramit girl where's the fire extinguisher?"

Amina was too busy jumping up and down to respond.

Monty threw off his coat to try and smother the fire but it wasn't working. He was sure that he was going to be responsible for burning down Mal's ship. When a flow of white foam covered him. He turned to see Zoë with the fire extinguisher.

"Zoë when you get here?"

"Not soon enough, you tryin' to burn down my ship Monty?" Mal asked noticing the burn marks everywhere.

"You missed it God-daddy it was so funny watching Uncle Monty jump he looked like yī tiáo zuì jiǔ dì xióngmāo tiào shéng." Amina said laughing.

"Room. Now." Wash ordered.

"Yes sir." Amina said walking away. "But it was funny." She told Jayne as she walked past.

Jayne laughed. "Don't encourage her Jayne." Wash said.

Monty and Wash were in the infirmary. Simon was patching up Monty as the other spoke.

"Monty you're bigger than they are." Wash said for the third time.

"Well that don't matter, there's something not right with those kids."

Simon snickered under his breath.

"Zoë and I gave you the list. It was a simple list. All you had to do is follow the list."

Zoë and the kids walked into the room. "Dear, your kids have something to say to Monty."

"Baoqian." The kids said in unison.

"Now come on you three can explain to the Captain why his cargo of bobble head dolls caught on fire."

"Wait. What?" Wash shouted after Zoë. "Why are they my kids when they tortured the giant Sasquatch?"

yī tiáo zuì jiǔ dì xióngmāo tiào shén a drunk panda jumping rope

Baoqian Sorry


End file.
